Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    PIXIE-LICIOUS   127,911
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
The Monkey On Your Back

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Tuesday, July 16, 2013



Have you ever heard the phrase "I've got a monkey on my back"? It refers to a problem or addiction that you are really struggling with. The monkey on MY back was binge eating. A little over a year ago, I really fought against it. I was at the highest weight of my life, 286 lbs. Every morning, I would wake up and promise myself that I would get that monkey off my back. I swore that I would not binge eat. Sometimes I would be able to keep that promise all day long, only to give in at night. Other times, I wouldn't even make it until breakfast before I'd binge.

I wanted to change so badly! I knew I had to do SOMETHING in order to lose all the weight, or else I'd be dead in a few years. I've said this before but I'll say it again...I really was killing myself with the extra weight, the sedentary lifestyle, and all the junk food I was stuffing myself with. It was fear of an early grave that finally got me to start taking care of my health, and trying to get that monkey off my back.



It was on March 1, 2012 that I finally got myself on track, and since then I've lost a lot of weight (71 lbs so far) and I've gained health, strength, endurance and flexibility. I've also gained confidence and self esteem. I am my own hero, because I am saving myself from myself.

But one thing I've learned is this;

“You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town.”
-Anne Lamott

What does that mean? Well, to me it means that although I have fought a good fight, there are times when I lose a round. I have not been perfect on my journey, and I know I never will be. Sometimes I go completely off track. Yesterday was one of those days. I'm stressing over things, and yesterday it just totally got to me. I ended up having a pretty huge binge. Afterwards, I was so disappointed in myself. But you know what? That binge wasn't a failure. It was a lesson. It was an occurrence. It happened, but just because it happened doesn't mean that I have to keep on letting it happen. Today is a new day and even though the circus will always be in town, I don't have to let that monkey hop on my back and take up permanent residence. I can (and I will) fight against it.



I will keep going, and as long as I have more good days than bad ones, I know I will make progress!






SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORIVIOLA 2/21/2014 8:19AM

    Thank you for sharing this.
I have issues at night too. But lately i am finding that even my binges arent as bad as they used to be. I count that as progress.

and i love the quote:

"You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town."
-Anne Lamott

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATNCAG 1/24/2014 3:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon That is my new attitude as well Pix!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BETTERME54 11/14/2013 3:30PM

    I know its been a long time but never too long to cheer a friend on to victory. So here I go emoticon emoticon emoticon , emoticon , emoticon , and last but not least emoticon .

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDIL62 10/2/2013 7:12PM

    The circus is always in town....SO TRUE!!! This blog is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you for sharing, and good luck on your journey

Report Inappropriate Comment
FERRET_MOMMY 9/16/2013 7:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NASFKAB 9/3/2013 6:22AM

  we can get the monkey off one day at a time & if climbs up just be more careful next time

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSLISA1973 8/31/2013 12:47AM

    Thanks for this great post! I binge eat, especially on sugary sweets. I needed this reminder that it's worth fighting against, and that it will be a lifelong journey.

emoticon Lisa

Report Inappropriate Comment
COLEE82 8/28/2013 9:12PM

    Hi thanks so much for writing this! I, too have struggled with binge eating for years and it has been getting the best of me lately. Your words have reminded me that despite how I sometimes feel, I am not alone in this, and that I CAN work past it. Thank you, and well done!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
APHRODIDTE 8/28/2013 6:30PM

    Pixie, you are not alone-the monkey has been riding me, or have I been riding it? Any way, for those of us who are emotional eaters, that monkey may be something we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives. One meal, snack, day, at a time. Cheers to us! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
POLSKARENIA 8/26/2013 5:41AM

    Exactly what I needed to keep me going forward YET AGAIN!!!
Great progress and attitude!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NIAGARA21 8/23/2013 9:32PM

  You have done a great job training your monkey so far. Thank you for sharing your story and for inspiring me to keep strong and positive. All the best!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEEAGLEWILLFLY 8/23/2013 5:27PM

  Thank you for your blog. I guess it all comes down to putting one foot in front of the other, and if we fall down, mess up - as we all do somewhere along the way - then we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and keep putting one foot in front of the other. All the best for your journey Pixie-licious!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIMALEE54 8/21/2013 10:08PM

    Once again, your blog hit the mark at just the right time. I'd been saving it and didn't know what it was about beyond the obvious.

Just so happens the monkey crawled up my back to dance on my head today. I too was feeling disappointed in myself as its been a really long time since that happened.

Your blog helped me remember it is over and done. Not the start of an ongoing slide.

Thanks friend Pixie-licious...
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
8BALANCE8 8/21/2013 8:14PM

    Thanks, your story made my day! Keep up the good work... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALLEYKITTEN 8/21/2013 7:49PM

    Thanks for the inspiring post! i feel like I have a monkey on my back, too... I can't seem to get started and get it to stick. Its discouraging when the circus stays in town too long!

I'm searching for motivation and your post was uplifting!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKLINGME176 8/21/2013 4:40PM

    FABULOUS! You ALWAYS inspire me! THANK YOU! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CITYLINESMARTY1 8/21/2013 9:08AM

    great job. You are an inspiration. Stay strong! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COOPER1009 8/21/2013 7:28AM

  Thank you so much for this blog. Keep up the wonderful progress! I hope I can say the same very soon! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OHMEMEME 8/21/2013 7:16AM

    emoticon Those monkeys must have escaped the circus!


emoticon One rides my back, too.

emoticon But, like you, I am training him! emoticon


emoticon To you and anyone else out there...keep fighting but it is soooo worth it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TJ54125 8/20/2013 10:54PM

  A great post and very timely for me. Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AN1944 8/20/2013 7:31PM

  Loved your sharing - I relate 100 % I'm 69 and work at it everyday. Am now maintaining 70 lb loss for over 2 years. I have to take it one day at a time.

Comment edited on: 8/20/2013 7:31:58 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
FAITHR5 8/20/2013 3:57PM

  that's an awesome way to thing about it! how did you convince yourself that it was worth it though. I keep trying to start or i'll even do good for a day or too but food always seems to win. i always give in and say well it'll be ok..

Report Inappropriate Comment
OSEGUEDA 8/20/2013 2:11PM

    Thanks for sharing Great job! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANA-B-FITZ 8/19/2013 6:42PM

    Love this, thank you for posting "I've got a monkey on my back". Uplifting and it gives me hope.
are a Supper Women

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAISYPETAL 8/19/2013 9:40AM

    What a great blog. It speaks for so MANY of us. You WILL be one of us that will reach their goal. Hopefully it will help a few others reach theirs. AND maybe it will help me. Thanks for the great start to the day and GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND.

Report Inappropriate Comment
223DAISY 8/19/2013 5:06AM

    Thanks for the encouragement! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EFFRAYECHILDE 8/18/2013 3:33PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IRENE1955 8/18/2013 9:31AM

  well done you, i admire you so much for admiting that you slip sometimes, but even more so for getting back to it, keep up the good work you are making real progress.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEROSES 8/17/2013 11:58PM

    Thank you for an inspiring blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAYBER 8/17/2013 9:09PM

    What a wonderful blog thank you so much for sharing your journey
After reading it thought could have wrote it myself
Am struggling very much right now and like you start out with a good plan for the day and then it all goes downward
Continue to take one day at a time
Each day is a new beginning
Will try to get that monkey off my back with the help and encouragement of others like you
Love Prayers Peace
Bernice
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABARNOWL 8/17/2013 6:01PM

  Hi,
Loved the analogy! Keep up the good fight!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALIDOSHA 8/17/2013 4:42PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HONEYWYTCH 8/17/2013 11:56AM

  So true...and you're one amazing lady. I had a slip yesterday too as a reaction to my Eldest daughter having a major meltdown. (aspergers) . Reading your post has helped put it into perspective and I know in time I will be able to turn that reaction towards something more constructive. Until then I can and will continue making the choice to become healthier. Thank you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSANITAL 8/17/2013 11:45AM

    OMG I could of wrote this blog.. I have always had a food binge addiction my whole life sometimes I just do not like to admit it I always think that it "will go away" no it don't I is like a monkey on the back.. sometimes that monkey dose go away and he is in his cage behaving and other times he is out ready to pounce on me.. I am 50 years old and have had that money on my back since my teens. but not till I have read your blog have I ever admitted it.. I have always tried to deal with it.. right now things are going smooth but you and I know all to well that it can jump on any time.. and well your binge last night was the case but its over he is off your back and you are moving forward and I admire that.. you come along way keep.. Thank you for your inspiring and motivation.. Thank you..



Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTSISSYINKY 8/17/2013 11:43AM

  Thank you so much for sharing exactly how I feel! I just read this today and its exactly what I needed to hear. I started out about 12 weeks ago, I've lost 15 lbs. I was on a roll the first couple months....but that monkey keeps nipping at my heels. Thank you for th emoticon e inspiration to keep moving forward! Congratulations on your success and determination!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BABYCAB1 8/17/2013 11:42AM

    I am where you were last March. I know i need to lose weight to help myself. I take medications for high blood pressure, cholesterol , allergies, and even depression. I say every day, tomorrow...tomorrow I will start losing weight, but the next morning it starts all over again. A year and a half ago I lost 25 pounds through diet and exercise and seeing a doctor for help... but when my life situations changed, I gained that back plus some. Now I weight the most I've ever weighed in my life. I feel so fat and unmotivated. I just can't seem to get back on the band wagon.it feels so useless. As soon as I go back to eating normally, which is NOT overeating, the weight comes back. I exercise by walking every day, and although I'm not a extreme exerciser I do move around....but it doesn't help. My weight only seems to go up or stays the same when I'm exercising. I know in the end losing weight is all up to me...but I can't do the ro emoticon utines I did when I was younger..my body can not hold up. I was hoping after reading your blog that you might be able to help me either through your own stories and/or through communicating with me. I need a friend...a buddy to help me get going and keep going. Can you help? I know I sound desperate..but you know I think I am. Thanks for listening.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSRIGS1 8/17/2013 11:35AM

    You have brought tears to my eyes with your words. I feel very connected to you and know exactly what you mean. Thank you for sharing. Your blog has helped me in so many ways. Thank you! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMLADYONE 8/17/2013 11:24AM

    You are so right....keep going. Remember:

Two steps forward and one step back is still progress!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DROSS0616 8/17/2013 10:41AM

    Thanks for such a great blog! I have issues with binges as well and though I have definitely made strides, when I slip up and "lose a round" I tend to beat myself up. We can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYSMILERMOORE 8/17/2013 9:38AM

    I had this Blog as an email the other day and thought WOW just like me, I so understand this

"You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town."
-Anne Lamott

our food issues NEVER go away, our weight loss journeys are ongoing for the rest of our lives, once people get to target then it will be a battle to maintain at that weight and NOT lose focus and go back to being a yo-yo dieter and put all the weight we lose back ON!!!!

Thank you Pixie, this blog hit home for me xx

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVELYLULU37 8/17/2013 9:14AM

    Thank you! You helped me to see in a "new light"

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUTTERFLY144 8/17/2013 7:07AM

    Great job describing a problem we all share. I was away for a few days on a mini vacation and threw "caution to the wind" . This blog was very timely for me as work today getting rid of that monkey once again. Thanks for giving me inspiration again emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FREEBIRD7100 8/17/2013 4:05AM

    thanks for the encouragement

Report Inappropriate Comment
CURRAHEE68 8/17/2013 3:17AM

    You keep on inspiring me. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NASFKAB 8/17/2013 1:44AM

  thanks for sharing love the analogy

Report Inappropriate Comment
FRANCIE551 8/17/2013 12:27AM

  Thanks for sharing. I struggle daily with the desire to binge. You give me hope when you are so willing to share. Keep up the great work and positive attitude! Once more Thank-you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMBAAA 8/16/2013 10:24PM

    Good for you! Writing this just after a bad episode shows courage and strength and determination and is such a good encouragement for others. I congratulate you.
Keep at it. You're helping me and will help me help my sister. Thank you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRISCOBEAR 8/16/2013 10:21PM

    Thank you for this posting. Really really did hit home. Congrats on your current and future successes also ! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CIROHIO 8/16/2013 10:18PM

    Pixie....another great blog. Oh that darn monkey! You are right the circus will always be here, but we can control the monkey. Thank you for the reminder that when we have the monkey on our back and we mess up, doesn't mean we need to quite. I have this saying on the wall in a room that I work out in. It says....I am under construction the best of me is yet to come. Then I have these little wooden stars 5 on them with inspirational words, along with 2 pictures of when I started this journey. It just helps me stay focus. When that darn monkey is bugging me I go in and look at this wall. Sounds silly, but it helps me. Thanks for sharing ....keep up the great job....yo9u are looking amazing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITANDHEALTHY67 8/16/2013 10:01PM

  You said that so well. Everyone of us has the occasional bad day and we need someone like you to remind us not to throw in the towel. Thank you so much for your encouraging blog. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (498 total):  1 2 3 Next > Last >>
 


Other Entries by PIXIE-LICIOUS