Tuesday, July 16, 2013
(Real binge eating, by the way, is considerably more intense than what I've experienced - clinically defined as eating 5000 calories or more in a single sitting. I'm using the term loosely because I think I share a lot of the symptoms, albeit on a smaller scale.)
So I was really proud of myself yesterday - I got an early start (night person here), I got done everything I needed to do, I did yoga and strengthening exercises and cardio (Bollywood Burn - and I thought I was going to die during those jumps and my face was red for an hour afterward as it is prone to be and today I'm all sore in muscles I didn't know existed - but so worth it!). And I stayed within my calorie target. Until midnight, that is, when I'd lain in bed for two hours trying to go to sleep and finally got up to eat some cereal, which usually works like a charm as a sleep aid for me. One bowl became two...and then some chocolate...and then some pudding. Sigh, it's all detailed in my nutrition tracker for the world to see. I couldn't stop. I felt this uncontrollable urge to keep eating despite the fact that by the end I was uncomfortably full.
This happens to me fairly often, and I think it's worth analyzing what causes it instead of beating myself up over spilt milk. One, I ate dinner too early - around five o'clock. Since I go to bed late and am used to dinner being the biggest meal, this meant my stomach was rumbling by the time eleven o'clock rolled around. In this case I knew that I would be hungry later on but decided to eat anyway, cause hey, free food, and anyway that's something future me can deal with.
Two, I'd done a lot of exercise (for me). You know when you're a kid and you run around outside all day and don't think about food but then when you come inside you realize you're ravenous? I hadn't had occasion to feel that in a while but I felt something of it last night. Plus, you feel justified because hey, I did all this exercise, I can eat whatever I want! Even though the exercise burned maybe a hundred calories and I ended up eating about a thousand... Mixing exercise with a diet plan is going to be very difficult for me in the beginning, I think, because of this added hunger I get with exercise.
Three...well, I need to get on a decent sleep schedule. If given the chance I'll stay up til dawn, even though I feel absolutely horrible afterwards. Sometimes I can trick myself into going to sleep early, but if I'm not actually tired I'll wake up a couple hours later starving - as happened last night. I really think that regularity and consistency have been my core obstacles in getting in shape, and my irregular sleeping plays a huge role in that. Fixing it, though, it easier said than done - I can take sleep aids but they leave me a little like a zombie the next day. And if I just force myself to wake up early I feel horrendous around midday and fall into a sleep coma at the first opportunity.