Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Someday...Someday...Someday, I will be thinner. Someday I will be fitter. Someday I will be where I want to go.
I have been struggling to gain traction. I have been struggling to keep going. I start and stop and start again. I whine and I become triumphant. Sometimes in a matter of minutes. Other times the whining stops me from realizing the true success. I feel sad that I have been on this journey of weight loss for over 10 years and I have not reached Onederland yet. I have gotten close and then I slid back into old habits and gained some of the weight back.
Unfortunately I notice that looking at what I have not accomplished leads to depression and more telling myself that each choice is of no consequence. I can eat whatever because I will start later and I will feel bad for all the treats that I missed. Then I eat more and more and more because later I will not be able to.
Well, I started the Beck Diet Solution. It talks about each choice mattering. It teaches how to change my thinking.
A while back Walmart had some interesting new cake mixes with matching frosting. I bought one of each flavor. They have been in my kitchen for a few weeks now. It has been hot and I had not made them. Well I decided on Friday that I wanted to go no sugar for 2 weeks. I just want to see what happens. I will choose at the end of that time if I want a weekly dessert or if I want to continue. I feel like a bit of a addict when it comes to sweets and I would like to stop eating them long enough that I know eating them is a choice not a compulsion.
So I justified having a piece on Sunday. I did not eat any yesterday but the family did. My husband asked if another one could be made. I said yes. Another one got started. I really want to know what it tastes like. However each choice matters. I don't even want to deal with the strength it takes to have try moderation. I will do that later.
No one ate the cake because it was too late by the time it came out of the oven we were tired and went to bed.
Anyway, I have this cake and the frosting can on the island in the kitchen. I am eating no sugar and today I am remembering that I have a goal. I can achieve my goal. I can get where I want to go if I am willing to realize that what I choose matters and keep my eye on the prize.
I am considering making myself a sugar free cheese cake for dessert or something with fruit. But, I will keep my eye on my goal.
Ready, set... OH yea I am already going on this journey.