Sunday, July 14, 2013
In the past year, I have been through some pretty sad stuff. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in June of 2012, and in October 2012, she moved in with me. She went through chemo and radiation, but still died from her aggressive cancer about 4 weeks ago, on June 12, 2013.
I am devastated. My food choices really went downhill the past 6 months. My will to get better was overwhelmed by my will to just survive. And now I am trying to find my bearings.
I am heavier than I have ever been in my life.
But losing my mother has taught me that I don't care about my weight or my appearance.
I am only concerned with trying to feel better so I can stick around and stay alive to take care of my own daughters.
I miss my mother so much. I cry every day. Some days I eat to numb myself. Other days I don't even remember to eat. I am so very very tired. I'm still working every single day, and trying to just make it through.
So I am trying Sparkpeople for the third or fourth time. Maybe this time I will get it. I want to feel better. I want to not have fibro/hypertension/blood sugar/arthritis/depression/can
cer ... whatever problems keeping me down and robbing what life I do have away from me.
So I am back. Thanks for being here.