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Oops! Did you just blow it? Your avatar says "SCORE!"

Sunday, July 14, 2013

In role-playing games, characters/avatars often take detours in order to stock up on weapons, potions, money, etc. that they strongly suspect that they will need in the future to be able to complete the game successfully. Think of it this way: you didn't backslide; you took a detour to pick up some tools you need in order to continue to lose weight. And that is what you did! You picked up a few mistakes/tools; it is up to you to figure out how to turn them into tools that will help you! Don't just toss out your tool because it isn't immediately obvious how to use it to your advantage! Figure it out!

Remember how hard you've worked to get here. Did you REALLY do all that work in order to give up? No one can guarantee the journey; but the struggle all by itself can give you pride, yes, even regardless of results -- because you are fighting for yourself and discovering your self-worth and strength!

Hopefully, you made a motivational collage (as SparkPeople recommends). Look at it and remember WHY you want to lose weight. Hopefully, you've been blogging/journaling about how hard you've worked. REREAD them!

Hopefully, you were LEARNING things as you took those steps back. Things like what changed for you that made you take that first step back -- and what you could've done differently. Things like what continued to happen that sent you into taking MORE steps back -- and what you could've done differently. Yes, it takes time to figure out and only you can figure out the answers to those questions, but there is POWER in your answers to make a difference in your success! People who struggle and struggle end up having more internal strength, resiliency, and resources than those whose journey is easy.

Recovering from backsliding on your journey is not the opportunity (or the right time!) to "double-down" on the severity with which you treat yourself! It is the time and the opportunity to treat yourself with love and to seek understanding.

For instance, perhaps you are willing to work HARD towards your goals BUT you have not been giving yourself frequent enough rewards. We humans are SUCKERS for the reward that is in front of us, choosing it all too often over the more-valued but more distant reward. You need to get a reward tantalizingly close -- to have it almost within reach -- to choose it in order to keep your eye on the more distant prize!

Or perhaps it was excessive temptation. I don't go to dessert parties anymore, even though I LOVE them! I can better resist from afar! And if I go to dinner, I eat my dietary dessert at home, BEFORE dinner, and I am perfectly willing to eat another piece of diet dessert if I need to upon my return! And I don't have any problem telling anyone who invites me to dinner that I'm on a diet to lose weight -- and while I would never dream of asking them to modify their menu, I may not be able to eat everything they offer. If that's acceptable, I'll come; if not, I must decline. To those who repeatedly try to get me to eat something I won't, I have no problem saying some variation of "Shame on you for not being supportive of my efforts to be healthy!"

Or perhaps you thought you could do it alone and it is harder than you thought. Or you were sabotaged.... Or you discovered that it takes only a LITTLE too many carbs to set off cravings that take you two weeks to get under control.... Those are all learning experiences. Who can you trust? How much is too much? Again, HOW LONG did it take to get control back? And HOW MUCH did you regain because you thought you could get away with that ONE time -- but it turned into 2, 3, 10 times?

You are human, and you learn. You learn you're not perfect; and you learn when something is "worth" the cost, and you learn what that cost is going to be! Those are things you can't learn UNLESS you make mistakes!

Value your mistakes; SCORE!!! Don't value your mistakes --- LOSE!

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