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    ON2VICTORY   47,452
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Musings at 4am

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Im tapping this out on my phone so please excuse any errors. Im in the middle of my set of night shifts and I miss my Spark family. Im too busy sleeping and coping with the transition from days to nights to be doing much else. This is always the toughest time for me...dont mean to whine but its one of the more unsavory aspects of my job. Its hard to not feel a certain amount of isolation but I digress...

Its really hard to believe how fast the time is whizzing by. August will be here before I know it and with that comes taper time. Thats where any opportunities for training and build up are pretty much over and mileage is drastically curtailed to recover and rest prior to the big day. Life has gotten in the way lately. The brick i did in my last blog is the last time i have worked out at all. Im not really worried but there are always nagging doubts and questions of have I done enough. Ive got 3 12hr shifts ahead of me then an 8hr...then freedom.

I cant wait to get back out there and put the finishing touches on all of this. The 27th I am doing the Teal Lake swim which I have 2 1/2 hours to finish 2.25 miles...no worries, this will be cool :)

I also cant wait for all of this to be over.

Im tired of spending money. It seems like every time I turn around, there is something else I need to get. The good news is that all of it is mine and I wont have to buy it all again but man, I'm really getting a good dose of spending fatigue. Triathlon is a spendy sort of sport.

It used to be that I would spend lots of time thinking about the race and how exciting it would be to finish something like this. Now I am looking forward to life after the event. How good its going to be to devote my time to finishing my ACE certification and my class material.

I've put all of these things on hold. I would rather put these projects on hold and give them my full attention later rather than plow ahead and do a shoddy job. I will only have one chance to give an excellent first presentation. Another thing I'm looking forward to is getting back to weight loss, weight lifting, and kettlebells. I've put the lifting and kettlebells aside while training for this event...I was losing training time being sore from lifting and frankly I was paranoid about hurting my back and losing out on my event all together.

One thing I was planning doing on my own after this is over is to go for a 100+ mile bike ride. I got 75 miles down pat, just need to pace myself a little better, pack a little more fuel, and shazam...good to go :)

I guess more than anything, I want to finish my weight loss. To be done and move on. I've had alot of fun along the way and I guess if I have proved anything at all, I've proved that you don't have to be at some magical number before you start to do cool things. I also proved that I am a heck of alot tougher and more resilient than I thought I was.

Now it's time to move on.

My ultimate goal is a shot at finishing a full 140.6 mile triathlon and that will never happen at my current state. To do so is beyond ill-advised, it's downright foolhardy and I probably won't survive the training without injury let alone make it to the start line, not at my weight. A 70.3 is most definately my limit in my present state.

I feel like I need to go back into my cocoon and go through more changes before I will realize my dream.

I hope this makes some sense, I have a tendency to lose my thought and wander at 4am...been up since 5pm yesterday.

Thanks to all of my friends who endure my ramblings and always leave me an encouraging word. You are appreciated far more than you may realize. This would be a very lonely journey without you.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EFFRAYECHILDE 8/13/2013 1:35PM

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MONTREAL12 7/29/2013 4:35PM

  Wishing you continued success; this too shall pass! You're a winner, no doubt emoticon

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FAVORITEAUNT84 7/23/2013 11:30AM

    Love your honesty. Keep bein' epic!

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JRRING 7/20/2013 11:10AM

  wow!

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CLPURNELL 7/19/2013 8:50PM

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KAREN_NY 7/18/2013 10:26AM

    You got this!!

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GEORGE815 7/17/2013 8:47PM

    Hope your journey is better with friends.

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TINY67 7/17/2013 1:22PM

    Best of luck, I use to work swing shift myself, it takes some getting use to.

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TIME-4-TINA 7/16/2013 9:42AM

    Hello Buddy Boy,
gotta say, your life exhausts me! I actually take a nap after reading about all you do. I know how much you hate night shift. I will send you some sparkmail with nonsense for you to read. Hopefully it will keep you awake.
T.

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SANDYCRANE 7/16/2013 7:12AM

    I do not know how you do it. You work full time, some of that on the night shift, but yet you have managed to train for a 70 mile triathalon. That is impressive. I worked many night shifts and a lot of overtime and it took a toll on my health. I did get an early retirement and I have used that to get my health back. Good luck on your race, I can't wait to here the results.

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BLUEJEAN99 7/16/2013 1:37AM

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MARYJEANSL 7/16/2013 12:19AM

  Continuing to wish you the very best success in your triathlon.

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JAMER123 7/15/2013 10:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You have a reason to not be able to do the running you want to. I retired fro the night shift and 12 hrs. of work. It seems the most one can do is eat , sleep and work with little else until days off. Then it takes a couple days to "catch up" with sleep and things that need to be done & it's back to work. I do understand and all I can say is hang in there!! This too shall end. I did it by retiring:)D

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KKLENNERT809 7/15/2013 9:31PM

    Wow, I wish you luck! It's too bad that you aren't having more positive thoughts preparing for this event. Think about that and maybe you will be able to enjoy the road ahead. emoticon

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JSEATTLE 7/15/2013 8:38PM

  You captured your thoughts and place in time well! Thank you for taking the time to share with us!

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JUSGETTENBY42 7/15/2013 7:02PM

    emoticon

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NEWTINK 7/15/2013 6:04PM

    once you are finished with the short one ( if that is what you call it lol) then just the plan and attack how to get to your next one just like you did this . you can do it just keep the horse in front of the cart emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALIDOSHA 7/15/2013 5:47PM

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ONLYTEMPORARY 7/15/2013 5:39PM

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LISA_FRAME 7/15/2013 5:38PM

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SWEETCLEANER 7/15/2013 5:37PM

    what I have learned;
You are never 'done' with anything......
You are not alone.....
When you reach out; people love to respond
Viola!!

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LIGHTNINGRUNNER 7/15/2013 2:57PM

    You will do so awesome.

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PATRICIAANN46 7/15/2013 2:27PM

  I wish you the emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 7/15/2013 1:36PM

    AWESOME. YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY. POSITIVE THOUGHTS ALWAYS.

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NEPTUNE1939 7/15/2013 12:58PM

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SHOAPIE 7/15/2013 12:40PM

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PATTISTAMPS 7/15/2013 12:29PM

    That transition from days to nights is horrible. My brother is has just gotten a promotion where he will no longer have rotating shifts, and he is so psyched... and he is in his 50's, so been doing it a long long time. 70 miles is a HUGE event, and one I don't think 99% of the population can do, so be proud! We see a lot of runners here on Spark, but in "real life" they are not quite so prolific. You are amazing!

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MRSRIGS1 7/15/2013 12:22PM

    emoticon

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GALINAZ 7/15/2013 11:47AM

    Sounds like sleep deprivation talking emoticon
You mention you want the weight loss part to be over. In a sense its never really over you just move on to weight maintenance, which I'm looking forward to someday too!

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LDRICHEL 7/15/2013 11:46AM

    You are going to kick a*ss, Robert. Hey...can I track you online for a half Ironman like I can track people for the Ironman? Please send me your bib # when you get it! :)

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 7/15/2013 11:17AM

    Hang in there. emoticon

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GOING-STRONG 7/15/2013 11:17AM

    I'm pretty impressed you did this blog on your phone... you have some magic fingers there lol.

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PIXIEMOM13 7/15/2013 11:03AM

    You have more clarity at 4am than most people do all day, buddy!

I think you're gonna rock your 70.3!!

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SUSIEMT 7/15/2013 10:46AM

    You can do this!

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LEWILL1982 7/15/2013 10:08AM

    I look forward to your blogs, I appreciate your insights. You've had a very involved training schedule, I can understand your need and feelings of wanting normalcy again. You've got this, you're almost there! By the way, I've taken some of your advice for some of my training rides and it's helped tremendously!

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IAMAGEMLOVER 7/15/2013 9:54AM

    4am I was up and heading to the, well I had to make a nature call. I hardly remember it, wouldn't if it wasn't for my fitbit recording the time. Right back to bed.

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CICELY360 7/15/2013 9:52AM

  good blog

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WORKNPROGRESS49 7/15/2013 9:26AM

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MIMIDOT 7/15/2013 9:07AM

    You're doing great! Keep up the good work.

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GOOSIEMOON 7/15/2013 9:01AM

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ROCKYCPA 7/15/2013 8:46AM

    You are doing a great job - keep pushing!

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PROVERBS31JULIA 7/15/2013 8:45AM

    Man, you are one tough hombre doing the REAL Ironman Workout, working your job schedule at 4 am in support of your family!! Errors on the phone? More like a masterpiece!! Don't sweat the little stuff! Just keep the goals in sight and take care of yourself.

Cheers!!
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Julia

Comment edited on: 7/15/2013 8:47:50 AM

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SJKENT1 7/15/2013 7:57AM

    One foot in front of the other... May the Lord shine His light and love all over you!!

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MOMMY445 7/15/2013 7:55AM

    you're doing so well! keep it up! have a great day!

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PENOWOK 7/15/2013 7:51AM

    Almost there...you are right, time is fleeting, but you've had it in hand and will again!!

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TRYINGHARD54 7/15/2013 7:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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KATHIC2 7/15/2013 7:38AM

  You are on it! Inspiring me with you updates!

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SHERYLP461 7/15/2013 7:31AM

    Just wonderful, relax

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DIANNEMT 7/15/2013 7:29AM

    Just keep planning and following your plan. You CAN do anything!

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SIMONEKP 7/15/2013 7:25AM

    looking forward to seeing you work up to the full tri

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