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500-999 SparkPoints

The beginning.... Again

Sunday, July 14, 2013

This was me at my biggest. I was 310lbs and only getting bigger, but this was also taken on the day that i had decided to change that. My little brother had just graduated from kindergarten and we were at his graduation party when he walked up to me and looked kind of nervous. I asked him why and he said he wanted me to play tag with him, I wanted to say no not today but it was his day and I just couldn't say no to him. He started to run away and i took maybe 20 or 30 steps before i was winded and had to sit back down. He ran over to me to see if i was ok but i couldn't catch my breath. I had my very first full blown panic attack and was hospitalized 20 minutes later. My little brother came into my hospital room crying and said "I'm sorry I almost killed you sissy" My mom told him it was his fault that I almost died. Since then I made it my duty to lose weight to be able to play with him and make myself feel good

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COFFEEMUG2009 7/14/2013 7:40AM


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TIGER_LILY_613 7/14/2013 7:04AM

  That was a terrible thing for your Mom to say to your little brother ! Please be sure to tell him it wasn't his fault...

Sorry to hear you had a panic attack. I once got exercise-induced athsma trying to get back in shape with a cardio-kickboxing class. I should have gone slower, but I wanted to keep up with everyone else, and suddenly I couldn't breathe ! I really believed that I was going to die! Things are better now, because I work out slowly at my own speed, and I stop if I start to feel short of breath. Now I can go for a much longer, which is a relief.

Good luck on your journey. I'm sure you can do this, and it is sweet that you are doing this so that you can play with your brother too. It says a lot about you.

I'll be cheering you on emoticon

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STEVEN2GO2 7/14/2013 1:20AM

    I feel terrible for you that your Mom would say such a horrible thing to your brother! My Mom use to say mean things when I was at my heaviest. I learned later that this may have been her way of trying to motivate me, through tough love. To be honest, it never succeeded. I had to make up my own stubborn mind before I made the MY life style changes for ME!

Good luck on your journey, I hope you enjoy each day as you reach for your goals!

emoticon no matter what!

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