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New blog....


Saturday, July 13, 2013

As you can see I haven't blogged in a long time. Have occasionally read blogs and checked Sparkteams. I've continued to live in a state of denial since the last time I blogged. I haven't been able to make myself take steps that I need to take to lose weight. I still hope I will because if I quit hoping I'll be filled with despair. Sounds dramatic but seriously, despair. I'm still hoping for some magic moment that will suddenly wake me up and make me determined to change. I've been hoping for the "magic moment" for about 30 years now. Each of those years I've added a little more weight that I need to lose. Physically I hurt. My shoulders, elbows, back, hips, knees, ankles and feet all hurt. I find it difficult to be on my feet for long (10-15 minutes sometimes0. My husband's company picnic for the family is at the zoo this year. I dread it. I can't walk very far. I tried last year and wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it back to the entrance. When I finally did, I sat on a bench while my husband and daughter walked around the zoo for a couple of hours. Yet I continue to eat....
I'm not a binge eater. I like large portions. I like fruits and vegetables. I eat those in addition to the sweets I love to eat. So I do eat the wrong things but I'd say my worst problem is the portions. The thought of limiting myself makes me feel anxious and I want to eat more. It doesn't take a large amount of food to make me comfortably full and I seldom eat until I feel stuffed. But I do like feeling full. Because of pain I move very little anymore. I sit at my job all day and feel horribly stiff when I come home from work. I love to sleep but lately I haven't been getting enough sleep.

I guess I'm going to try to start tracking my food again. Maybe I'll commit to doing some chair exercises everyday. There are people with a lot worse problems than I have doing it. Some of the people on here amaze me....I love reading their blogs. When they're having a rough time it makes me feel not so alone and when they share successes it gives me hope.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
POUTINGPEGGY 7/18/2013 6:49AM

    I have been where you are and know all the frustrations you are going through. I am in the same situation. I can't go anywhere, hardly, because I can't walk or stand for long.i like a full plate, with big portions, I also binge eat. Perhaps we can help each other stay on track. Please can I make. You a spark make small changes and keep blogging and tracking.

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WILDKAT781 7/13/2013 9:21PM

    you can do this...just set your mind to it. find some good chair exercise videos and do them each day. Cut out sweets and you will feel much better. Message me if there is any way I can help you!

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IAMFAT4NOW 7/13/2013 11:53AM

    Acknowledging what is happening with your body and your habits and the honestly you're showing is really a huge key. Good for you. There are several sitting/chair exercise videos on the site here that you might find helpful. Remember you're not alone so staying connected and talking it through will be a huge help for you. I know I find it helpful. Small steps, realistic steps, you can do this. You really really can. Your body WILL respond to the positive changes. It's simple biology. It just works. Blogging and connecting and really talking and examining issues will work on your head, where we all struggle the most. All the best to you. Stay in touch!

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LISACHOSECHANGE 7/13/2013 8:51AM

    I so get where you are coming from. For years i tried nd tried and didnt succeed. This is different this time. I like to be full as well and i am. I eat tons of fruits and veggies to fill me up. I also am looking at this calmly. One day at a time and i am not trying anymore but doing. You can do this but only if you are ready. Only you can decide that. It just takes one small change..like drinking water or moving for 5 minutes a day.

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JACKSGRAN 7/13/2013 3:06AM

    Don't give up! Everyone wants you to win.

Check in every day and just write a few words about what you have done and how you feel. It's a small step that will lead to bigger ones.

Don't forget to join and check into your teams too. They will help you as well

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