Saturday, July 13, 2013
As you can see I haven't blogged in a long time. Have occasionally read blogs and checked Sparkteams. I've continued to live in a state of denial since the last time I blogged. I haven't been able to make myself take steps that I need to take to lose weight. I still hope I will because if I quit hoping I'll be filled with despair. Sounds dramatic but seriously, despair. I'm still hoping for some magic moment that will suddenly wake me up and make me determined to change. I've been hoping for the "magic moment" for about 30 years now. Each of those years I've added a little more weight that I need to lose. Physically I hurt. My shoulders, elbows, back, hips, knees, ankles and feet all hurt. I find it difficult to be on my feet for long (10-15 minutes sometimes0. My husband's company picnic for the family is at the zoo this year. I dread it. I can't walk very far. I tried last year and wasn't sure I was going to be able to make it back to the entrance. When I finally did, I sat on a bench while my husband and daughter walked around the zoo for a couple of hours. Yet I continue to eat....
I'm not a binge eater. I like large portions. I like fruits and vegetables. I eat those in addition to the sweets I love to eat. So I do eat the wrong things but I'd say my worst problem is the portions. The thought of limiting myself makes me feel anxious and I want to eat more. It doesn't take a large amount of food to make me comfortably full and I seldom eat until I feel stuffed. But I do like feeling full. Because of pain I move very little anymore. I sit at my job all day and feel horribly stiff when I come home from work. I love to sleep but lately I haven't been getting enough sleep.
I guess I'm going to try to start tracking my food again. Maybe I'll commit to doing some chair exercises everyday. There are people with a lot worse problems than I have doing it. Some of the people on here amaze me....I love reading their blogs. When they're having a rough time it makes me feel not so alone and when they share successes it gives me hope.