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    S3XY_DIVA_QUE3N   19,521
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relationship double standards


Friday, July 12, 2013

So here is a question... I'm just curious as to other opinions on the situation...
I have had many girl friends who have been in relationships with guys where the guy made it clear that their relationship wasn't going to be long-term. Everyone seems to be fine with that, even though most of the time my friends end up getting hurt.
I have another friend who was in a relationship with a guy and she made it clear from the beginning that it wouldn't be forever. When SHE ended it with HIM, some of our other friends got all sorts of offended and sided with the guy, even though they aren't even friends with him to begin with. In fact, they are going out of their way to ask him to dinner and stay facebook friends with him, etc.
Is this a clear case of double-standards? Should I feel angry (I do btw) at these friends for siding with the guy?
It is taking all of my restraint to not flip out and call these people out and tell them to mind their own business....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
1STATEOFDENIAL 7/12/2013 4:01PM

    Everyone is entitled to their opinions and their feelings, but the only people who are allowed to make judgements about the relationship are the 2 people who participated in the relationship. No one else knows exactly what happened and what was said, no one else knows what it was like when they were alone, and no one else knows what feelings were involved in the decision about how long it would last. That means everyone who is siding with someone out of spite need to be told to make a decision: support their friend even if they don't agree or stop being friends with her because their prejudice won't be tolerated. All the outsiders who are being little judgy-pants can all go running after him and fight for his affections, while your friend (and you) move on to new relationships/friendships. More than likely, those girls have been hurt before and have issues that have created their prejudice against anyone who doesn't do what they would have done - that means they're reacting due to their feelings, not due to their intelligence. Each of you now gets to decide if the friendships are helpful or hurtful and act accordingly.

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NOTANINJA 7/12/2013 11:54AM

    I admire your friend for being upfront about her expectations. It does seem that there is a double standard.

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