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    CHERYL_ANNE   95,534
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Fear Fueling Behavior and Peacemaking Between Head And Heart

Friday, July 12, 2013

Are You Becoming UN-Done by Doing It All?



The three fears mentioned in the article are the same ones that I struggle with on my journey to becoming the healthiest I can be.

- Fear of success in weight loss because the protective layer I had when I was heavier will not be there to insulate me.

- Fear of failure because I have lost the protective layer and everyone now sees the "me that was always there" and will be scrutinizing me to see if I fail.

- Fear of loss because it changes everything I have come to believe about myself and I have been forced to confront issues and behaviors that made me Emotionally Eat, and, other people's jealousy - because now that I have lost weight their perception of me is different and their self-comparisons, self-judgements, and self-issues can come to the surface and could make things unpleasant.

The 3H Club of Happiness

om/2013/0 7/12/the-head-heart-and-hara-t


At least half my success so far is attributable to me working from the inside out, to address my Emotional Eating and working to align my head and my heart.


I'd like to know your thoughts if you feel something similar and would like to share with me.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FIRECOM 7/16/2013 3:35PM

    Thanks. My success came from one set of standards and now I am facing some very serious health challenges so my model will change accordingly. God willing and the creek don't rise.

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CHSHULER89 7/14/2013 9:34AM

    Thanks for sharing! Great blog and articles. What I am tackling with at the moment... trying to be more mindful and dealing with thoughts and emotions and how I deal with them. Thanks for opening some more opportunities and doors. Keep up the great work!:-)

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WOMANWITHGRIT 7/13/2013 9:52PM

    Thank you for these articles and your reflections. Inside out is essential and nothing else really works for the long haul. For me, I had to heal from the inside to some degree before I could begin the program..but then also, as the weight comes off, so too, does the pain we embodied make it self evident so that we can learn to let it go.

I love SparkPeople because we have guidance and a web platform in this community to learn about this, do it, and get the support we need.

Thank you, again, Cherly Anne. emoticon

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SISSIE21 7/13/2013 12:53PM

    Thank you for this thought provoking blog...

It is true, as the weight comes off it is important to deal with the emotions that made me gain so much weight in the first place or I will go back to that dark place again. Fear of loss is a huge issue as well as fear of loss of control.
I thankfully have had only positive reactions to my weight loss. What has saddened me was hearing from my family how worried they were when I was so big. I thought I was only hurting myself.
As far as fear of success. I thought I would feel that, but to be honest I don't. I feel free and happier and just more alive in my ever shrinking body. I feel more like myself again. I want to be successful at this!
I think my biggest fear is fear of going back. because I still have the tendency to overeat when I am stressed or sad, two emotions I have been feeling alot lately due to family circumstances. It has been a difficult time with eating because of that and it scares me. Using food to soothe emotions will only lead down the path of pain and misery.
I had a therapist once tell me that no one gets to be over 100 pounds too heavy unless they have a deep issue of pain or self-hatred going on inside. At the time, I disagreed with her, but now I believe that to be true.
So my journey has been one of learning new tools to self soothe, learning to believe in myself again (I had lost all faith in myself), learning to love myself despite my flaws and having courage and determination.

Comment edited on: 7/13/2013 12:56:32 PM

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COCK-ROBIN 7/12/2013 10:16PM

    wow, this is hard. I'll have to sleep on it.

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JOJOSLIVIN 7/12/2013 6:57PM

    Wow! Seeing the fears in writing are so powerful. Facing those fears the past few years is the reason why I'm sure I'll succeed this time.


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JILLYBEAN3628 7/12/2013 11:58AM

    I agree wholeheartedly with everything. In fact, I could have written that myself. Great articles! I have been getting an email from this site: There are some great tips there as well.

Thanks for sharing these. I've always said that if I work from the inside out, taking care of my mental and emotional health, and eating clean, I'll be right where I need to be...the weight loss is just a by-product.

Have a great Friday!! emoticon

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WORKNPROGRESS49 7/12/2013 10:55AM


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