Thursday, July 11, 2013
As I was driving home a couple days ago I was hearing all these songs on the radio with seemingly a common theme of chaos and fire and I thought I don't have to live in the fire. I don't have to fuel [a negative] one in others or myself and I have the power to step out of the fire and exist in a calm space, a happy space.
Instead of dealing with other people's lives and drama and decisions I choose to be a friend where I'm needed and appreciated. I choose to focus on keeping my own life calm and free from chaos. Great things can happen when I'm able to focus on being healthier.
My brain and body put me into a bit of crazy chaos yesterday with horrible nightmares that left me somewhat paralyzed and atrophied when I woke up. It took quite awhile and determination and some caffeine to get me moving and functional. I didn't quite give myself time to recover before headed out to appointments and errands. And having a wasp get stuck between my eyeball and my glasses when I parked at home wasn't at all helpful. I spent the next hour or more trying to recover from all the physical crazy and blood pressure and blood sugar madness. Eventually I felt more normal and then the crazy weather started.
All of that just reminds me that I can't control everything. I can control my hair (which is why I change it so often). I can control my body if I workout and eat healthier. I can retrain my thoughts but I can't always control my feelings or instincts. I cannot control others or the weather either. It's good to recognize it though. Now I can try to work on regaining my motivation. And not get totally tangled in my head if something doesn't go right or well.