Thursday, July 11, 2013
The photo is the most recent picture that I have of myself - my surprise retirement party on June 28th. I want a "before" picture to refer to as I seriously work on losing weight. Ironically, the last picture I posted on my blog page (below) was taken on June 28th - 4 years ago. (I am pretty sure I weigh about 15 pounds MORE now...and I wasn't happy with my appearance back then either.)
The first thing I did this morning was step on the scale - AGAIN! And...I was up 1/2 pound more! Seriously?!!? Yes, honestly and seriously.
I seemed to just shrug my shoulders, though...a "so what is new?" kind of response. I don't know what to make of my apparent apathy today. It's not that I am pleased with myself, it's not that I felt good about what I read on the scale; it was more of a resignation that "it IS what it IS!" I hate that. I don't like that I let myself be satisfied with situations that aren't pleasing to me - just because they are familiar and seemingly easier to ignore than to deal with.
My weight is not the only "issue" that I tend to shrug my shoulders about.
Change is difficult - even if the anticipated outcome appears good - better - MUCH better than the current situation.
A SparksPeople member that I admire suggested that "motivation is like a muscle" - you need to work it to become stronger. I will ponder that for today...