"If I take one more step, it will be the furthest from home that I have ever been." -Samwise Gamgee
I had an impromptu 4 mile walk today...my furthest distance so far, hence the quote!
I had some disappointing news this morning from the unemployment office....apparently, it takes a month to receive benefits. They do not answer emails so I called in and waited an hour on hold for the lady to tell me this. She also could not give me an exact status on my claim, she just said the soonest I would get anything is on the 24th.
I burst into tears when she told me this and although it kicked off a panic attack, I gained a little satisfaction because I made her uncomfortable on the phone. (Petty, I know, but I didn't try to feel like that!)
Unfortunately, my phone will be disconnected on the 20th when I cannot make the past due payment...along with my car insurance, and I will be 2 months behind on my payment for my hearing aids.
Not quite sure how I will go about getting a job now with no transportation and no phone, but it is what it is.
After finally getting it through my head that there is nothing I can do about it, I decided that I was going for a walk. Not for time, not my usual route, and not paying attention to the weather (which started out 79 degrees with a nice breeze)...I just needed OUT of the house!
Just went for distance to see what I could do and to get some of the garbage out of my head.
First song up on the playlist was 'One' by Creed...
"I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don't try and change my mind."
That about sums up my morning!
I was feeling a little better a few songs later when 'Stand' by Rascal Flats came on...
"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand"
I kept slowing myself down from my usual pace...I had to remind myself that I was not trying for time, just going the distance.
I ended up walking 4.06 miles with a pace of 22'13/mi. I didn't jog at all, but I did walk faster after mile 2...not sure why unless that is when the breeze died down and the temp rose to about 85 and I was anxious to get home. I know the temp didn't rise too much, but I am one of those people who don't sweat hardly ever and I have a hard time cooling down, I just roast.
My pace was slowed just a bit because its been so long since I was out just to be out and not worrying about hurrying, there were so many wildflowers along the trail and the air smelled so good! I stopped for a little breather in the shade of this huge weeping willow tree. It was nice and cool under there!
And here is a view looking up into it...
This leaves me with 173 days left and 331.5 miles left to goal.