Thursday, July 11, 2013
I love my little niece. She is adorable. Occasionally grandma and I will take turns doing carpool for summer school for the little ones. Today, grandma needed to drop my niece off early. Her hair wasn't done so I got to do it for her. She is a beautiful black girl with beautiful, long, and natural hair. Some of us may call it nappy, but I call it luscious.
I loved doing her hair. It reminded me of my youth when I braided my little sister's hair. It was like riding a bike. I remembered how to tug on the ends rather than the roots, to brush in reverse so to not hurt her scalp. Then you have to oil the scalp to keep those luscious curls growing. She did so great, and was happy with how it looked in the mirror.
The scary thing is, I enjoyed it so much that I think she's giving me baby fever.
I don't have any babies myself. I'm known as "Mama-Qui" (pronounced Mama-Key) in this house. My boyfriend has two handsome little boys aged 5 and 6. I love them like my own. However, lately I've been desperate to have another girl in this house. This feeling is so weird because I know 100 percent that now is not the time.
It's interesting how my weight ties to this scenario though. When my niece left for school, all I kept thinking about were the obstacles that prevented me from having a baby right now. Obvious concerns come to mind like our socioeconomic status, and how we're not married yet, but then there was my weight. I don't want to get pregnant while obese. I feel like that would make it so much harder to lose the weight afterwards. I honestly would have no problem with losing all this weight and getting pregnant. I'd be the happiest mommy ever. It sounds weird, but it kind of makes sense. If you think about it, I have 70 pounds to lose total, and that's about how much a woman gains during pregnancy, right? So, I would know that it is possible to lose that weight.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I just wanted to talk about how amazing it felt to have that experience again, but now with my niece. I hope to be a mommy someday, and I think I just found another source of motivation to get this weight off.