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    TIME2BLOOM4ME   142,455
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He said forever

Thursday, July 11, 2013

When we were dating he said. "please let me take care of you forever, let me provide for you." He wanted me !!! I was so excited. It sounds like the promise every girl wants to hear. Someone that wanted to grow old with them, walk in the sunsets together hand-in-hand. I told him of all the elderly couples I saw together in the nursing homes sitting together deeply in love with a twinkle in there eye. Granted they couldn't dance together, but they still sat snuggling as close as possible in there wheelchairs. It always brought a tear to my eyes to see there undying love, there commitment. He said he was attracted to my kind. pure spirit. A soul unlike others he has dated.

I was working full-time as a nurse, healthy as an ox one could say. He like bragging to his friends and family he scored a RN. Doing occasional overtime shifts to make ends meet. I owned my own home, life was good. I was thrilled that I was educated after struggling through college as a single parent. Times were looking up. I had found a honey that loved me the way I was. He said my voice sounded like an angel, soft spoken and kind. His words captured my heart.

We spoke our handwritten vows together at a small chapel wedding agreeing to avoid the expense and glamor of a formal wedding. Our vows to take care of each other no matter what happened, in sickness and health, to share financial struggles. We agreed that I would be added onto his checking and savings account. (it never happened.) All was wonderful, that newly wed bliss. Nothing could go wrong ever. Troubles just had to stay away. After all it was my new start in life, new beginnings.

When we married all my collected treasures were given away to charities. My furniture, my bed. When combining two households my stuff was discarded. Darn it. I should of listened to my intuition. I should of. I have very little of my own possessions that I paid for to start over with. Everything will have to be purchases and reacquired on my own, all alone.

All was well until I was stricken with illness. (We both expected him to be stricken first as he has high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol). Little did I know my life was about to change big time. MS struck like a lightning bolt making life unusually challenging. No longer could I hold down a job that had a glamorous title and decent income. The home, well with out an income to pay for it went back to the bank. I was devastated as I paid for it myself. Well I thought at least he has his home I can in. Sigh. It was heartbreaking to loose my very own home.

Several years pass and the neurologist hasn't been able to get things under control. It makes me a not so good catch. The spoken vows become meaningless in someones eyes. My body not as firm and tight due to the disease affecting the muscles. My muscles are weak so he thinks he has to stay home and babysit me. Well I don't need babysitting.

There are times I save his butt, rescuing him when he is drunk. I had no idea I was marrying a drunk. Helping him to breathe when he has overdosed with drugs. Staying up with him, exhausting myself wondering if he will make it through the night. Yea, I babysit him. I was replaced with a bike and a boat, lots of alcohol and drugs. It's to help blunt the stress of being locked within four walls he says. Yet he has had the habit all his life.

Yet it is not I who locks him within the four walls or keeps him away from church and friends, it is himself. It is the choices he makes. While I am content to stay home, he can go and do things he wishes to do. It is not my fault I must tell myself. He chooses to sit and watch TV all day or sit staring at the street with a beer bottle in his hand while life passes him by.

We spoke of how its changing his personality, making him act bipolar, paranoid, angry at times. How all of a sudden he has bursts of anger yelled at me. It is affecting his memory. He no longer remembers watching a movie over and over and over again. He says he doesn't remember yelling at me or does he. I don't really know if he is honest and can't remember of if he is just saying so. I told him how the alcohol and drugs are affecting him. He doesn't care. He won't change even though he knows it is destroying his mind. He knows it can and will destroy his life and his brain is being damaged from it. I don't say these things in a mean way at all with a raised voice. I try to talk to him in a quiet soft voice in hopes that he will see the destruction he is doing to himself.

He says he uses it to cope with me. (Yes I am really difficult. The sweet,soft-spoken angel he calls me .The kind spirited, gentle soul who radiates joy. The woman who never nags him, and who spends hours a day making fresh juice for him to keep him healthy. Yes, I am very difficult. Not.)

He defends his vices, the ones that keep me up encouraging him to breathe when his body is struggling to, but not his wife. He says I don't think very highly of him, yet I still love him deeply even though he is messed up. Love hurts. He doesn't seem to see how my daily actions help improve his life.

His daughter who shut him out of her life because of his behaviors during her childhood, a few years ago started talking to him because she needed money for college. He gladly sent her what ever she needed time and time again and she keeps digging for more. This year it was $20,000+ so far this year. She never called him, emailed him, or texting him until he started sending money, lots of it. It was his choice. He complained to his family about the drain during holidays. Oh, yes she is married, healthy and able to work, but does not.

I mentioned that I needed the Bioness to help me get around better last year. It would allow me more independence. He said he would help me buy it and then refused. I gave up for awhile trying to workout longer, harder, go further on walks trying to will the muscles to work better. When the walks were too short for his desire I was replaced with a bike. I was left at home to make do with my home workouts. I couldn't walk outside alone without his help. He knew. Walking outside makes a major difference on ones abilities. When he choose not to help me get the Bioness, it felt like my independence was being taken away.

He got mad at me because I couldn't walk on the beach on our last vacation. He said it was my fault and bad attitude that spoiled the trip. Not the alcohol mind you. He was drunk enough the motel was aware of the "dirty laundry going on". I didn't have to say a word.

He gets mad at me because I rarely leave the house due to strength issues. It's all my fault. Last year when the weakness was progressing I suggested the Bioness to him as a way to help me move. I tried it on while he was home. I wanted him to see how much it would help me. He wouldn't come out of the bedroom, he deliberately hid from them. Yes, he was drunk. Heck I could run with it and climb rocky hills. I was thrilled at the difference it made. It would allow me the freedom to get out of the house. Yet today he is angry that I don't get out more. Honey??? I know you know why I don't. It's next to impossible. Please help me to achieve this independence honey, Please.

He said he would help pay for the Bioness many times over the last year. The latest was today, then he said he wouldn't because I am attacking him. Sigh. Never can the right words or lack of them change his soured opinion of me. I just tried to point out I try to save money for us when we go grocery shopping, our wedding, on anything on-line. I showed him sites where he could purchase stuff at an discount. I have showed him how to be thrifty, how to eat healthy, make better choices. He comments on how much I have improved his health.

The last time he said he would help with the Bioness I gave them his cell phone number. They called when he was drunk so he blew a fuse and yelled at me. Then he said if I paid the X amount he would help with the rest. He never let me explain that I had paid for one unit which was more than X amount. Today he said he wanted the information so he could send them a check. Then he changed his mind again. He said I pissed him off. I might not be worth it. He knows I have a fundraiser going on trying to raise donations for the cost online. (I have not posted a site here.)

I thought if I pointed out that I haven't asked him for anything ever, that he would help me out. He used to say what was in the bank was meant for both of us. That if I ever needed help he would help me financially. No such luck. I never have asked because I had somebody in my past badly leave me in dept due to them taking my credit cards and cash out of my wallet when sleeping. I never have wanted to be a drain on anybody or burden as I know how it feels.

He knows without out it my health will continue to decline to the point he has to care for me. He doesn't care. I am just not worth spending a penny on. In fact today he made it kind of clear I might not have a home much longer. He told me his feelings are changing towards me. Yet he says he loves me???? Yikes, I can't understand him.

He points out I failed at marriage before. My personality was the same then. I just didn't know how to physically protect my children and myself against an abuser so I left. In my current husband's eyes, (number 2) he turns my first marriage as a reason to judge me as a failure in our marriage. Oh, how words are twisted and driven in like a finery sharpened sword. Words can cause excruciating pain. He has said I would never hurt a fly and he believed me. Now he uses my past against me. He used to praise me for getting away.

I called disability/SSI to find out rates if I were alone. They won't improve, I can say it's less than $1000 a month. It's not enough to live on alone. Out of there checks I have to pay for medical and taxes. Which leaves even less. He knows without him housing me, I will have to live in a cardboard box. There are so many other people in the same situation that I would have to wait years to get into housing assistance.

I guess I could call up an old friend that had many issues and see how it's going. Maybe I could stay awhile. I don't even know if that is an option. They could be married, with girlfriend. I haven't talked to them in years. It would be like jumping into another frying pan. That is why I left. Honestly, I don't know where to go, who to turn to. I will have to survive with food banks and begging. It sucks.

If you see a cardboard box under the bridge, WAVE Hi, as it might just be me that you see.

Tomorrow I am going off to the Dr. in hopes that I can get a prescription for a scooter. If I can get one before I am kicked off the medical insurance it will help.

The lesson I learned Forever really isn't forever. (Even though I really believed it was.) There are hidden, unspoken, contingencies that outweigh all the spoken promises that were made. Maybe alone is better. I was fine with being independent. At least nobody will be around to break my heart.

On the positive side. I have been happily pinning, thinking of all the ways to start anew. It opens my eyes to dreams I have had, creates a desire to bloom again in fertile grounds.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:



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2ABBYNORMAL 7/14/2013 12:12AM

    I am so sorry you are going through this difficult phase in your life.
Your story is beautifully written, although sad, and your pictures portray every word you express.
It brought streaming tears to my eyes.
If you recall from past postings, I also have MS and my husband was drinking so heavily during the winter that he would fall down in the middle of the night on many occasions and I would have to get him physically to bed. With very little strength, you know what a struggle that can be.
I told him that enough was enough and if we was going to continue drinking, he should pack a bag, go buy his booze and stay with a friend or at a hotel/motel.
He stopped drinking. (I have a friend who belongs to let's say a bad-a** motorcycle club and said he needs the sh*t kicked out of him, but he wouldn't do it without my permission.) God, I love him and his wife.
But now my husband is like a zombie. He does nothing but sleep on the recliner. He'll cut the grass outside and that's it.
I feel like I'm living with a roommate and I am not a happy camper. I think I am beginning to accept that we are now just two roommates who have lived together for 39 years. Where did all the love and affection go? He doesn't seem to have it any more.
Do I accept the fact that we each live our own different lives? He lives like a zombie and it is so depressing.
I hope you can dig deep into your heart and soul and find the answers you are seeking.
I will pray for you that everything works well for you.

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BRENDA_G50 7/13/2013 10:15AM

    Hmmm, sounds like someone else I know. You might want to check to see if they have "Legal Aid" in your city. The sooner you can break free, the sooner your health, heart, and mind can start the healing process. Good luck and God bless you abundantly. You will be in my prayers.


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KIPPER15 7/13/2013 7:30AM


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CHERIJ16 7/12/2013 11:46PM

    Your husband is definitely an abuser. You deserve much better. I agree with most of the advice from others. Protect yourself by leaving him asap. He is ruining your health both mentally and physically. emoticon

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BLUEROSE73 7/12/2013 9:21PM

  Wow. I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. It sucks. Know there are people out here who really do care about you, and not because you can do something for us other than just be yourself.

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ILIKETOZUMBA 7/12/2013 4:42PM

    Unbelievable. Just absolutely unbelievable. I don't even know what to say, except I'm so so sorry you are going through this and that your husband is treating you this way. That is completely unacceptable. Definitely see if you can find some legal assistance to make him help you - I don't know much about legal/financial issues, but I am SURE that he is legally obligated to provide assistance and care, right? He is your spouse! And if he no longer wants to be, then you are entitled to part of your shared assets. I know lawyers are expensive, but maybe you can find one in your area who will take you on and do one of those arrangements where they take a percentage of what you win but if you lose, you don't have to pay them.

I hope it all works out. God bless you!

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 7/12/2013 2:08PM

    Going to Al-Anon will help you detach emotionally from him if you stay, or feel you have to stay. So, you can detach enough to get less harmed by what he hands out. Al-Anon will also help build up your self esteem and help you become less codependent and more independent. All things necessary for your personal growth. Be aware though that there are people in Al-Anon that are just as likely to try to push their way on you, to tell you how to live. But, still it is a good experience because you can listen to what everybody says, and learn to take what you need for you and let go of the rest.

What many people do not understand is that the Medicaid programs limit those on it to 12 doctor visits a year, and any more than that have to be pre-approved (at their discretion). And, I know people on Medicaid who have asked for (discretionary) appointments and have been kept to the 12 visits a year (even though they have cardiomyopathy with an ejection fraction of 35, which for those who don't know is really poor heart function). So, those with serious illnesses can find themselves seriously under cared for medically. AND the thing is, MORE CUTS IN MEDICAL CARE ARE COMING.

I know there are people who are being able to access low-income housing. But, it isn't available everywhere. You can do a discreet checking around for low-income housing in your area, how easy it is to get into it, waiting lists etc. YOU are the one who has to live with the consequences of your choices, so know what the real choices are before you jump from the frying pan into the fire. Yeah, the frying pan can 'burn' ya, but you don't want to make a leap without getting all the facts either, so you can truly take really good care of yourself, and do what is best for YOU. The local abuse shelter can help you with such a plan, and also guide you in housing access-ability etc. Just be really discreet about it so your husband does not know you are checking these things out, until you have a safe way of moving on.

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FIT4MEIN2013 7/12/2013 12:41PM

    You CAN do it. My stepdaughter gets $829/mo on SSD and is able to make it with HUD housing. She also gets a break on her phone and gets other help. Talk to someone about this. You need to get away from this toxic situation.

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3016DEBRA 7/12/2013 11:50AM

  WOW! My heart is so full of rage for this loser! Please, please, PLEASE get some legal advice & get as far away from this guy as you can. He's not going to help you. I will keep you in my prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SADIEMAE32 7/12/2013 10:39AM


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LINDA! 7/12/2013 10:17AM

    I am so sorry. I can feel your heartache while I read your words. May God bring you comfort in this sad situation. emoticon

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AMANDANCES 7/12/2013 9:38AM

    My heart breaks reading this. You are a beautiful person whose only fault was giving your heart to someone who didn't appreciate it. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and try to send you energy and love from afar. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DARKCHILD 7/12/2013 9:25AM


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KCLARK89 7/12/2013 8:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

That broke my heart to read all of that. You need to help yourself first; he needs help as well, but if he is uncooperative and unwilling to, there is no need for YOU to suffer longer because of it. Find an "out" before it turns from bad to worse. Stay strong; we're all here for you!

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CHRISTASP 7/12/2013 7:51AM

    When you said he was a drunk that says enough.
And he has a choice and a responsibility in dealing with that addiction. If he won't take it you may indeed be better off alone.
I hope you get the scooter. I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself.

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MYAKAYAH 7/12/2013 6:09AM

    I'm sorry you have to deal with this type of thing. I grew up with this and saw what it did to my mom. I vowed never to deal with foolishness from a man. Please find a way to get some help and make certain you and your child are safe~ emoticon

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KELLIE453 7/12/2013 5:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 7/12/2013 12:57AM

    I'm so sorry, and you're in my prayers.

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NELLIEC 7/12/2013 12:56AM

    When I was on SSI (and now on Social Security) I got Medicaid, and still do. I also have some food benefits. It is possible to live on SSI with those helps, especially if you are careful with purchases. And it is easier to be healthier without constant stress from someone who is dysfunctional from addictions.

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JIBBIE49 7/12/2013 12:36AM

    You don't need an alcoholic and drug user to deal with. emoticon

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KING_SLAYER 7/12/2013 12:33AM

    This pisses me off. It kind of makes me want to show up when he's drunk and break both of his legs and ask him how it feels to not be able to walk or get around... I don't like bullies or any people that take advantage of others. It brings out the, shall we say, violent side of me.

If I wasn't going on 5 years being unemployed and had the money, I'd buy the Bioness just so you could strap it on and walk the hell out of there.

Sorry for the anger and language, but this kind of stuff makes my blood boil.

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CHICAGOTOM 7/12/2013 12:25AM

    This was a powerful post and I pray for you.

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NYARAMULA 7/12/2013 12:22AM


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BMCOLLEY 7/11/2013 11:38PM

    It was very difficult for me to read your blog because my past was very similar to what you are going through now. My ex-husband constantly reminded me that no one would want me and I would not survive without him. I turned to my family and friends. This is something I would like for you to do. I had to swallow my pride and start making calls, explaining what was going on, and accepting the help I could get.

I would very much like to remind you of your Spark name: TimeToBloom4Me. There is no better time than now. You are going to need help to get on with your life without your husband. The first step I would suggest is hire a public lawyer without letting him know as long as you can. Set up some help before doing this so that he cannot abuse you more than he is doing. Explain to the lawyer about the abuse--make sure the lawyer is aware that you will need support from your husband so that your husband's bank accounts can be subpoenaed. Let me tell you, he is breaking the law if he withdraw all of his funds because he became aware that you were going to divorce him. Retain every record you can so that you can prove who you were and who he was.

Al-anon is another way to go. Al-non will only help you if you have something to look forward to after the meetings. Unfortunately, I believe your husband will hold this against you if he finds out that you have gone to these meetings. He may go so far as to leave with all of his assets. You have been very honest with him since the beginning. I doubt that he will become compliant because you joined Al-anon. You need to take control of your life without getting his permission.

If he works you should go after marital support, as well. There are many agencies out there that will help you with those things that has to be done on a daily basis. HUD is something you should have your support persons check out for you. After all is said and done, he will miss you because there are very few good people out there. He will be used and abused the same way he is treating you. I truly believe he will have to live with the seeds he plant.

Before I forget. Ask for life insurance to be paid for by him because you depend on his income and should he die you have no way of replacing his income. If he is working he probably already have insurance. If so, are you absolutely sure who the beneficiary is?

Lastly, you have a child--be that child very young or an adult. You did not mention how this is affecting your child and believe me it is taking a toll. That child is going to need to see the mother he used to have--strong and independent. Try not to lay any of this on your child. Just make sure your child knows you love him/her and this will never have a bearing on your love.

I hope I am not too overbearing, but I swallowed so many lies and deception from my husband that I still gag after 40 years--40 years ago.


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TONYAB2000 7/11/2013 11:11PM

    My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry you are going through this. My prayers are with you.

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GRANDMABABA 7/11/2013 11:02PM

    My heart breaks for you. I pray you find the help you need to seek and find your dreams. Nobody deserves what you are going through. I wish you success in finding your way through all of this. emoticon

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MJ7DM33 7/11/2013 10:48PM

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PATRICIAAK 7/11/2013 10:01PM

    many people in my state who are on SSI (disability) qualify for medicaid due to finances. There is also food stamps, HEAP and other programs. it may not be a mansion, but it beats a cardboard box under a bridge.
I know you know that you are living with an abuser (there are more kinds of abuse than just physical - as a nurse, you know that)
Renew the dreams you allude to.

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 7/11/2013 9:40PM

    Your husband is a controlling abuser. Just like mine. Only yours has alcohol added on top of it.

I face the same financial and living situations you do. Only I have less than $750 a month for all expenses. I live in a state with very high housing costs. So, high that most people with low income housing vouchers are losing their vouchers, because the voucher system says, "If you have enough money to pay the difference than you shouldn't have gotton the voucher to begin with." The abuse shelter says, "I can stay there 3 days, and then I either have to return home or find other housing. There is no housing to be found that I could even pay for with ALL of my check. And, would have nothing for any other expenses if I did manage to find an apartment for that. So, yeah, a whole lot of people blame me for staying, but they don't have a CLUE about what it would be like to live on the streets with a disability. But, there are plenty of people who will get on their high horse and judge a woman in this situation for not escaping her abuser. As if living in a cardboard box would be any less stressful than where we are!? The cardboard box would have a whole lot more stress, AND, be a whole lot more damaging to our health.

I don't know what to tell you, as I am still sorting this out myself. I am becoming very assertive though, kind of 'take no prisoners' attitude, but you may not be able to do that. I do agree that it would be good for you to go to Al-Anon, at least for the sake of having a support system, and being around people who will treat you nicer than your husband, and thus help boost your self-esteem. Cause living with an abuser really, really knocks your self-esteem. You really need to work on building that up and taking back the person you used to be. She is still in there, you know.

I have tried for years to get into housing assistance. I would have to move to that city and live there for 6 months before I could even be put on the list, and then the waiting list is several years long. And, during all that time I would have to pay full rent. (As if I could afford to do that for maybe 3 or 4 years! Yeah, right! NOT!)

Comment edited on: 7/11/2013 9:42:50 PM

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CINDHOLM 7/11/2013 9:28PM


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It's a tough situation but don't allow anyone to take away your spirit. Alcoholics tend to blame others for their own mistakes and their own actions instead of taking responsibility. They are also emotionally abusive and you don't deserve any of it.

It's not your fault that you became ill and MS took over your life. You are trying the best you can and that's all you can do. To be honest, he doesn't seem like someone to be around whether you are healthy or not. Drunks are good at hiding their behavior to the world and most people don't know their significant other is an alcoholic until after the fact. :(

I am sorry you are struggling with all the other stuff and you lost your house. :(
Wish I had some good advice and something comforting to say but I don't.

Hopefully, things will start looking up for you. Maybe not today or in this moment but you seem very strong and with time, you will pull through.

Everything is temporary and this bad situation is just one of those temporary things.

Hang on and don't give up hope!


Comment edited on: 7/11/2013 9:27:42 PM

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LOPEYP 7/11/2013 9:18PM

    Have you checked with the town to see if they can offer you some help getting the scooter? I'd also call your state rep and ask if they can help.

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 7/11/2013 8:58PM

    I am so sorry you are living through this nightmare right now. I agree with Ocean_Mist, if you can get to an Alanon meeting, please, please go. Alanon gave me the courage to save my life. Alanon gave me the courage to WANT to save my life.
If you go back and look look closely at the graphics you posted.... between your pain, you will notice a common thread... a subconscious message your spirit guides maybe giving you. It may not feel like it now, but this is one of the first steps in healing, in gaining courage and strength to make a better life for yourself, you are not hiding anymore, you are sharing and connecting. That is a huge step in the right direction of taking your life is so very important.
I am here for you, I understand I know what it is like...
When this passes, you will look back and understand a lot more about yourself. Please remind yourself not to be so hard on yourself, if you need to, forgive yourself, start there. Many may not understand why I say that, but in an abusive relationship, the abuser often makes the "abusee" feel like that.... if the abuse is going on for a long time the one being abused begins to believe they are at fault somehow. Feeling as if they are at fault for staying in an awful place, an awful state of mind...allowing this to happen. I am not saying that is how it is for you, I am saying that is how it WAS in my situation, for me....and that is where I started, so many years ago, forgiving myself.
I know you are hurt and ... I just know, but if I didn't leave the bitterness and hatred I felt inside of me, towards my own self, for allowing the abuse to go on for so long behind, I'd still be in prison. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

Be gentle with yourself, but be strong and forgive yourself.
I will be praying a ton for you, if you need to talk to me, I am here for you, know that.

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Much love and light to you my friend.

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  My dear sweet spark friend please turn to Jesus and allow Holy Spirit to guide you into all the truth about your situation which will lead you to a way of escape and your intuition is Holy Spirit speaking to you and please allow Him to lead you to freedom and peace. emoticon

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KABMPH 7/11/2013 8:18PM

    Do you know for certain that the women's shelters are full and wouldn't be able to take you? How old is your child now? I'm very sorry for your pain, but please look into the options before dismissing them!


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PAMTHER 7/11/2013 8:03PM

    I'm so very sorry. My first husband was a drunken druggie. Of course, I didn't know until we were married, either. I am blessed to have found my current husband, who is completely different, and does right by me. It is a real blow when it happens. I didn't know how I would possibly be able to move on or even afford to. I was so traumatized that I lost 40 pounds in a month, without trying. I understand. I really do. Where I lived at the time a local church had a free divorce support group, and even though I wasn't even the same religion, I still credit it, and those people, for genuinely helping me to understand and grieve and keep going. Maybe there is something like that in your area? My heart truly goes out to you. You are a special, beautiful soul who deserves more, especially when you're going through so much with your health right now.

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JANIEWWJD 7/11/2013 7:55PM

    Leave that man!!!! He is no good for you or anyone else. With God on your side, you will be alright. Just have faith. Remember: Faith moves mountains!!!! God bless you and protect you!!!!
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USMAWIFE 7/11/2013 7:55PM


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4RASCALS 7/11/2013 7:23PM

    I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You deserve so much better. I'm not sure what a bioness is or does. Sounds like you feel it would be of help to you. Have you contacted the MS Society, maybe they would be in a position to help you. Call your church also maybe they would be able to assist in some way. I sending you a huge hug to comfort you. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts & prayers.

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KERRIELYNN719 7/11/2013 7:14PM

    You are in all our thoughts and prayers.....

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OPTIMIST1948 7/11/2013 6:56PM

    Your h (not DH because he's an @$$!) is an abuser and alcoholic, based on the desciptions you have provided here. You need HELP. Reach out within your community. Someone has to have something to help you.

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JACKIE542 7/11/2013 6:48PM


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MISSLISA1973 7/11/2013 6:09PM

    I'm sorry. emoticon


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PEZMOM1 7/11/2013 6:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon this box is not big enough for all the hugs that you deserve.

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123ELAINE456 7/11/2013 5:44PM

  Sorry to hear the ongoing problems that You are having with your Husband. Both of You need help. Praying that things will improve. You deserve much better than this My Dear Friend. God Provides for our needs. I Love All Of The Quotes too. God Blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Super Nice Day. Take Care. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment edited on: 7/11/2013 5:45:41 PM

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RAWCOOKIE 7/11/2013 5:30PM

Once you decide what you want to do about this situation - you will find the way to move forward - sharing this blog was a step on that journey. What will be your next step? Is what you feel for your 'husband' really 'love'? Only you can answer that.

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SUSIEPH1 7/11/2013 4:49PM

    Ohh how my heart bleeds for you. You don't deserve any of this. Can you speak to your doctor? Your hubby needs help ..and so do you. Thinking of you my lovely friend .. Much love Susie emoticon emoticon

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TIGER_LILY_613 7/11/2013 4:37PM

    I'm sorry that you are going through this :( emoticon emoticon

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CMESLIM 7/11/2013 4:36PM

    emoticon Will keep you lifted in prayer.

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