Thursday, July 11, 2013
I made a commitment to myself to get in shape and get back into a level of health beginning on January 1. I had made great progress towards a weight goal until mid June and then once again I seem to get discouraged by an emotional rupture within one of my friendships. This has happened before and I have allowed this pain to spread to my view of the worthiness of my being healthy, fit, and trim. I haven't truly examined why I allow this influence this part of my life. I am the only one it hurts when I "fall off the wagon" and when it happens its as if I am reinforcing my feelings of being unworthy of true happiness and contentment. But its strange because I can see from an objective standpoint how this behavior doesn't serve me and my goals but yet when the time come to eat healthy, or go for a walk or a work out, I choose the sabotaging behavior or meal...... There is a great thought leader Marianne Williamson and she talks about our fear of being great as the real reason behind our unwillingness to succumb to the ordinary life. I wonder if that is what is holding me back from "fighting the good fight" day in and day out. Something to think about until my next post.