49 Days til I'm here:
Super excited! I've only been out of the country once, when I was 15, to Nogales Mexico (about as anti-touristy of a place as one could find) with a friend who lives just north of the border in Arizona. You didn't even need passports back then. Ha, funny (bad!) story: My friends and I were angels, really, didn't drink, smoke, got good grades, were very innocent. We sneaked across the border one night with a group of our arizona friend's new friends (she moved, we flew to visit her) to go dancing in a club. Drinking age there is 16, and even though we were 15 we did have a drink (seriously, this was my ONLY drink in high school, we were good girls!) and all of a sudden, the music stops, the lights go on, and these men come in, rifles slung over shoulders, some pointed ahead of them, and proceed to search the bathrooms and pat-down a couple patrons. It was terrifying!! and so surreal. And when I think back, OMG, if my daughter did that, I would have a heart attack!!!! It was sooooo out of character for any of us to sneak away (to a foreign country, at that!) and actually have an alcoholic drink. I could just picture THAT phone call too: "Um, mom....I'm in jail.....in Mexico!" We were convinced we would get busted for being underage. Ha, maybe that's why none of us drank in high school after that.
So, that's my big Mexico experience.
I'm feeling guilty lately like I should be doing the Whole 30 or something because EVERYBODY'S DOING IT. Ugh. I know if I want to get back to my goal weight, it's what I need to do, but I just don't wanna. So for now, I'm not. I've been eating good this week; Paleo for the most though I have had some milk, cheese & yogurt. I don't feel the need to cut out dairy entirely, and I eat very little of it. But darn it, life without cheese is no life at all.
Anyway, I like to grab a couple tablespoons of dark chocolate chips to keep the chocolate monster at bay, and last night I had Red Mango (frozen yogurt with probiotics and made with Stevia) and there's a part of me feeling like I should feel guilty for both. Like I should wipe out sugar completely for a little while, but I'm just not a happy person when I do. I guess I'm just sitting here weighing the odds. I can cut out the sugar for 30 days and likely drop 5-10 lbs, but do i WANT to????? Is it really worth it in the long run???? I'm not weighing myself anymore (for now) and I feel I'm around 155-158. I know i'm not gaining more cuz my non-forgiving size 8 work pants are fitting OK, a smidge snug, but not as bad as they were when I crept back up to 161-162. (sigh, though I DO also remember when they were falling low, and I could have fit into a 6). I think my body LIKES it here. Big question is: Can my mind accept it as well?
I can really tell I missed a week of Toning/Sentao, cuz boy my legs are feeling it today!
Good to get that reaffirmation that what you're doing IS effective.
I'm going to try to get up for a run tomorrow. Also feeling guilty on the running front; like I should be preparing for my next half. I think I want to do another, but I'm not having much luck convincing my body. Clearly my body and brain need to enter some type of negotiations: "Ok body....here's the deal, you WILL run, and i will accept that you are not going to lose more weight"