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    GYPSYROVER   27,075
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State of Denial


Thursday, July 11, 2013

I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

And therein lies the problem. I'm working on it. Please be patient with me. And keep sparking!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LORI2562 7/12/2013 10:19AM

    Thank you for being real!! I too have days that I want to scream, days that make me sad that things cant be easier. It's good to know that someone else lives in a world that isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Every day we are working towards a better, healthier life for ourselves and hopefully encouraging other around us to want the same. Perhaps we need to remember that there would never be rainbows and butterflies without rain and caterpillars. Baby steps through the storm, and our transformation too will show!

Keep smiling and keep trucking!
LA


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GYPSYROVER 7/11/2013 10:09PM

    No matter how much I struggle, I am NOT leaving. And a year from now, I hope I DO find only half of you! emoticon This is an on-going process for me, similar to when I finally quit smoking after 40 years. Each obstacle I slam into teaches me more about myself, but I may not be able to "fake it 'til I make it" each & every day. I am sorry that I cannot do this with unbridled enthusiasm every day at this point. I have good & bad days as I work through the realization of what a "lifestyle change" really means. My status & my blog today reflect the truth that "hit me upside the head" this past week. For someone like me - an "all-or nothing perfectionist" - to realize I have to perform perfectly every day for the rest of my life in order to succeed pretty much laid me out flat.

Yes, I know that's ridiculous! emoticon Who could possibly expect that, right? Well, on a subconscious level that is how I roll. It is innate & difficult to live with, but each challenge I have the courage to accept always seem to teach me a little more. I will move past this stage - this I have no doubt! I have made my decision to make these health changes & this is a discouraging mile or two of my journey, but it is by no means the end.

I am so very thankful for you and many other great Sparkers who lead by example, and offer generous support! I know this life is possible - and preferable -, and I will keep doing the best I can until I reach my goal. How can I NOT when there you are, jumping in with enough exuberance to show me how it's done! I am so glad you didn't wait as long as I to consider making changes! Wise gal! emoticon

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MMILLER139 7/11/2013 9:25PM

    Well, what would you rather do? And do you REALLY WANT to do that? It is your life. You make your own choices. No one is going to force you into doing something you don't want to do. But, really? You really don't want to be healthy and fit for the rest of your life? That's fine, I guess. Lot's of people live their entire lives enjoying poor health and bad choices. If that is how you want to live.... go for it.. but I am really having a hard time believing that is what you would want, or you wouldn't be here. I am not trying to be mean or un-positive here... I am trying the "tough love" approach because, obviously, "You can do it!" isn't working out. I have my days too, where I just feel like giving up, at least once a week. But then I sit back and think.."What do I REALLY want to do?" More often than not, my answer to myself is not to take the easy way out. Sometimes I slip up, eat to much, everything tastes so good, but I am right back on track afterwards. I will never give up on myself, I have too much self-worth for that. If you decide to leave, and come back next year, you won't find me, you will only find half of me. Now, isn't that something you would like to be able to tell someone? Well, then, deep down, you really DO want to do this for the rest of your life. emoticon

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