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"If Only" Fantasies

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Yes... Beck came to a screeching halt between hubby's birthday and the 4th celebrations. While I did not totally fall off the wagon, I was precariously hanging on and was mindful most of the time, I did fall prey to temptations.

So I decided to lie low until I got my blood tests back and visited my endocrinologist. The bad news I expected wasn't that bad, however my current path will lead to poorer results in the future. What to do.. well the Doc gave me a new script to help me get back on track. While I am not fond of the idea of more meds... if it helps.. well I girl has to do what she has to do. Lowering my blood glucose might help my digestive track get back to normal. The good news is I lost 4 of the pounds I had gained.

I could sit here mired in the "if only" thinking, bit that will not help me move forward.
My son invited me to come visit. It is a 4.5 hour drive, I have seen signs that state 44 mile until the rest area. Yikes... I have been saying "if only" my tummy wasn't rumbling I would go see my grandbaby. Well I may just go for it. I have been feeling a bit better lately. Plus the change of scenery might help. As the quote posted on my 7/3 blog inspired me.... I want to act... not react. I do not want to be held back by "If Only" illusions. Life will not be perfect when an "If Only" comes about... reality rules. We have what we have. I am finding a ways to take action.

Making the trip become a reality is scary. I am taking my 25 year old son, who is developmentally like a 5 year old(who doesn't listen to his mom.) He cannot be left alone, as no five year old should be. And the digestive issues... are scary even at home. Sitting here saying "if only" is holding me back, so I will face my fears and develop back up plans.

I can...
make this trip happen,
I can...
make changes.
I can...
be prepared.
I can...
deal with whatever arises.
I can ...
return to my path of a healthy lifestyle.

I CAN !!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hugs. I hope this finds you having ENJOYED and with great satisfaction in knowing you did it!
    1680 days ago
    If Only kills our desire to act Now ... so you have released your chains that held you back and went forward with action . good job . You have an amazing life and much pressure to sit back and not push forward . good job on ignoring the impulse to not do anything . emoticon m emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1682 days ago
    I understand all of your apprehensions. It is not always easy to travel with a 5 year old that is 5 year old size. i am sure it is not easy with your son. When we moved from 2000 miles with a 5 year old and a 3 year old I took a plastic gallon jar and put little toys in it. They seemed to have a good time with that. They were things we already owned. I like the idea of a present every hour or so. I don't know what your son liked.

    I think your own digestive issues might make is scary too. But, I have been trying to keep in the mind "Don't take council from your FEARS." I know you will make the right choice for you. I sometimes make those choices by figuring out what I can do in a worse case scenario. Can you manage your bathroom issues with your son's needs safely?

    Best wishes making the choices.

    1683 days ago
    Have you given any thought to a GPS device for your son? Our community is using them in many ways; for seniors, those with disabilities and also on outdoor adventures. There are ankle bracelets, wrist bracelets, and necklaces to name a few. Also, there are apps that can be downloaded on a phone for tracking purposes. We had one lady in our community with dementia who got lost but she had her cell phone with her and she was located quickly.

    It may bring you some peace of mind. If not now, perhaps in the future as it becomes trickier knowing his whereabouts at all times.

    You sound prepared for most anything. Go back and read your old blogs when you went on this trip the last time. You were so happy and it all went very well. You anticipated and thought it all out ahead of time.

    emoticon Starting over is a good thing.
    1683 days ago
    I can understand your apprehension about taking this trip. A lot of unknowns and "what ifs" that could turn it into a nightmare. However, I know you can problem-solve and strategize for the worst-case scenario. For instance, even if you have to get off the turnpike to use a fast-food restroom, so what? It beats trying to wait 44 miles in agony!

    What does your son like to do? When our daughter was little we always packed a goodie-bag for long trips, and wrapped each item in it: a toy, a game, a book, a few pieces of candy, etc. She got to choose one wrapped item each hour. She really took her time with the new item because she knew that was it until the hour was up!

    Anyway, glad to have you back...we all have "if only" fantasies...but unfortunately (and fortunately!) what we have is right here, and right now! The trick is to make the best of it. Good luck.
    1683 days ago
    OH Nancy, you WILL make this trip happen. I feel it in my bones.

    And you're right. We have to do what we have to do to get healthy, even if it involves adding another med. You know, it's not a "forever" thing so with work, you can reduce it.

    I remember being on Metformin for my blood sugar and just HATED the thought. Totally. BUT it was what my metabolism needed to get back on track.

    And now, my Levoxyl is no longer manufactured (GRRRRR!!!) Was on Synthroid, but now have to switch to Unithroid. UGH UGH UGH But slowly, the body is getting used to it.

    Hang in there. Know you're not alone.
    1683 days ago
    emoticon And you will be sooo glad that you did!
    1683 days ago
  • PJ2222
    emoticon emoticon
    1684 days ago
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