Wednesday, July 10, 2013
When you hear devastating news, well okay not devastating but bothersome what do you do? I wanted to eat THANK GOD there were people around and I couldn't. I did use my depressed state this morning for an excuse to not workout. But I was still super sore from yesterday's work out so I figured it's a wash.
Back to bad news.... Bad news... had me really down. Put me in a bad place mentally. Here is the only way I felt I could describe it."Someone has just put a noose around my neck and is getting ready to drop the floor out from under me." So I had a gal working with me today and I started to vent about all of it.... She got kinda mad until I was so visibly upset that I thought I was going to cry. I came up with this....
"I'm tired of picking up the pieces for everyone. I'm tired of taking care of my mom, I'm tired of financially helping people, I'm tired of dealing with a functioning achololic, Im tired of everything like this. I just cant take care of it all anymore." The lady at work said... "YOU can't take care of anyone but you! Once you realize all of these other problems are really not your problem you'll realize it's okay, and it's okay to be mad at your family, it's okay to not want to take care of them anymore because you shouldn't be doing it in the first place. YOU, need to stop enabling them and doing everything for everyone. YOU need to worry about YOU & your little girl and husband. THAT is it! YOU are a control freak and can't control the rest of your family so YOU need to learn to let go and let them deal with it. Once YOU do this you'll feel better."
Well, that was a slap in the face with reality.
I thought about it and dang if she wasn't right. I started to feel better. All I really need to do is take care of myself and my little one and husband. That is my concern. Now if you know me you'll know that that is going to be hard for me to do but dang if I'm not going to try to do it. Here's what I got out of venting today. I have control over me. NO ONE is having control over me. I CAN take responsibility for me and look out for me. When I do this I am a happy healthy fit person. When I try to take care of everyone I am a miserable bitch. Hmmm what should I choose???Ah, I know happy me! Let's see how long this lasts.
So today I eat right because I have 100% control over that situation.
Wish me luck.