Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Why why why why why do I weigh the same as I did pre-baby BUT have a body that's so not mine? I know all the clinical/medical/etc. reasons, I'm just so good at denial. For all the musculature I can feel in my abdomen, there's so much more flab I need those muscles to suck in! And I seem to have developed bigger shoulders...could hauling a baby around be responsible for that, maybe? But it makes my otherwise fine shirts about 2 inches higher than before. I suppose I should embrace my inner Amazon, but I can't afford this weight loss business! My pants fall off if they don't give me a "muffin top" (grotesque phrase, but it is what it is!), my shirts are belly shirts, I have to move soon and I don't want to accumulate more stuff and FOR SURE I don't want to pay for it.
I truly am happy with myself. I know that if I had clothes that complemented my current figure, there would be no reason for my wallowing in...um, whatever I'm wallowing in. Don't even know what my current figure is, however, and I had a tried-and-true system for what complemented the figure of yesteryear. Change, dreaded change! I'm going to have to go back to dressingroom experimentation, which is SUCH a waste of time. I'm not even sure what size I am anymore! It truly is amazing how I can ramble on about the clothes on my back, when, should my actual back be more toned and healthy, I note it as a casual aside, 5 words or less...really, where are my priorities!?!?! I know a blog is not necessarily a place to be a whiney butt, BUT I've gotten it out of my system and can now move on to re-addressing my closet in a much more sane frame of mind.