Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Last night I watched my husband eat some chocolate cookies. I felt resentful the entire time. Why, when I am trying so hard to lose weight and eat healthier, isn't he co-operating??!! I looked at the nutritional information: 170 calories per serving, 4 servings the package. Gluten free they might be, but not calorie free!
On this last vacation, I finally was able to let go (kind of, mostly) of the feeling of unfairness as I watch other people (read, slender people) devour sundaes, chips and cookies. It is hard to fight off the feeling of "Fairness" -- ie. where is my fair portion, if you can eat that amount, I get to too. Maybe it's a hold over from my younger days with older siblings, that feeling that the dessert needs to be divided in 5 absolutely equal portions.
I just can't 'keep up' eating with my husband and kids. It isn't a question of fairness, my body just doesn't need those cookies, ice creams, endless chunks of cheese, etc. In fact, it would be unfair to me and all the work that I have done trying to get healthy to eat it. I'm going to try to hold on to that idea: that fair does not mean equal; fair means you get what you need, not what you want.