Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Lowest weight (wedding, in 2002): 118, size 2
Highest weight: Approximately 175?, size 12-14
"Normal" weight: 135, size 6-8
May 2010: Graduated from a master's program while working full-time (my employer paid for the program). Mom to 2 young boys, ages 1 and 3 when I started, 6 and 9 now. Weight was approximately 135, but climbing by the end of the program.
Poor eating habits, intermittent attempts to lose weight but nothing sustained.
March 2012: Turned 40. I "celebrated" by checking myself into a hotel by myself for the night.
May 2012: Went to the ER because I was so exhausted. I could sleep for 8 hours at night, then take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. I got winded walking up the stairs, which had never happened before; in fact, I ran both a marathon and a half marathon in 2005. ER ran tests and diagnosed me with "Fatigue." I attended a wedding, and someone took a picture of me with my baby niece. She posted it on Facebook, and I hated the way I looked so much that I had to ask her to delete it.
April 2013: Finally went to see a doctor, depressed, exhausted, and overweight. The doctor ran tests and everything was normal except my vitamin D levels were low (common, but mine were VERY low). The doctor told me to take 20,000 IUs and then 2,000 daily. The supplements helped with the exhaustion.
June 2013: Went to Disneyworld with my husband and kids. It took me several minutes to struggle into my bathing suit, the one time I actually went into the hotel pool. My boys were thrilled that I was in the water. I was happy that the water covered my fat body. I looked at everyone else in the parks: Many fit, happy-looking moms, while I wore stretchy, unflattering clothes in a vain attempt to hide my weight. As usual, I was absent from photos and did my best to avoid them (and mirrors) at all costs. I spent my time in line trying to find other women my age who were fatter than me.
July 1, 2013: Returned to the doctor, officially desperate. The vitamin D had helped with my exhaustion, but despite eating much less, my weight had not budged. BMI is 29, and 30 is obese. OBESE. My blood pressure had always been excellent, but now I am edging into "pre-hypertension" territory. I had not exercised, tracked every bite or food, or consumed much water, so to say I was doing "everything I possibly could" was untrue.
He prescribed 37.5 of phentermine. I was surprised, and hadn't been looking for any weight loss medication, but I guess since I'm borderline obese, I qualify. Wow.
July 7: Was invited to meet some friends at the pool and have dinner. The other mom and I agreed not to wear our bathing suits...but what would I wear? What if I ran into the fit moms I know? I had to email her and ask if we could go somewhere else...embarrassing.
The first few days of taking phentermine were rough, with racing thoughts, extreme thirst, and nervousness, but now I'm on day 8 and the side effects seem to have subsided. I'm ashamed and grateful that I'm taking the medication, because I've lost 6 pounds and have the energy to be more active. I've also been drinking TONS of water because of the thirst. I'm using Healthy Fasting tea too. I need to go back to the doctor in one month...of course, this is meant to be a short-term fix to rebuild good habits.
The plan is to lose 35 more pounds, and KEEP IT OFF, through the following:
1. Resume my old love affair with vegetables.
2. Limit calories and carbs to a healthy range.
3. Water, water, and more water!
4. Resume exercise, through walking, running, yoga, and small measures like taking the steps at work. I'm considering joining a gym when my weight gets down to a more manageable level (145?)