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    WINDSONG26   105,346
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Update on Yesterday's Blog

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

So, I drove two hours yesterday to go to the Planned Parenthood to get checked out. I go in, I do yet another pee test, wait for the results...it's negative. Again. So the person who called me back there listens to what all is going on and my concerns and says that I need to see an OB as soon as I can to get a blood test and get checked out because they don't have the ability to do blood tests there. That would have been nice to know when I made the first appointment when I SPECIFICALLY stated that I needed a BLOOD test. So she gives me some referrals and the first place I called was rude and barely spoke english and was like, well you HAVE to take another urine test and THEN the nurse will decide if I need a blood test or not. I'm going, I think I know my body better than your stupid rules do, and they couldn't see me that day anyway because they only have a morning clinic on Tuesdays and blah blah blah. So I lied and said I'd call back and hung up. I called this other clinic and they were on lunch at the time, so I'm like okay, I'll go do something for a few minutes and call back. So my fiance and I go somewhere for a few, decide to just go ahead and drive to the clinic and walk in and pray that they can see me. We go in and they're like we understand you live two hours away and need to be seen, but the appointment that you need would take at least a half hour and all that. So I go ahead and schedule an appointment for next Monday, which is the earliest that they had available with an ultrasound, because considering how far along I probably am, I really need to get one. So we set the appointment and left. On the drive back home, my fiance and I were talking and he said that I should probably call this other doctor that I haven't seen yet but his mom and one of my friends who works at the clinic recommends to get a blood test done. I give them a call and the doctor doesn't have any openings this week, but when I explained to the receptionist what was going on, she transferred me back to his nurse's phone. She wasn't at her desk, so I leave a voice mail. She calls back about an hour later, I tell her what's going on and what I'm needing and why. She said okay, let me talk to the doctor and I'll call you back. About 15 minutes after that, the phone rings again, and the doctor is ordering me a blood test without seeing me and I need to get to the clinic before they close. So I get in the car and drive another hour in the other direction, and make it just as they were getting ready to close. I get the blood draw and am on my way back home. I'll know the results Thursday. But at this point, I'm not going to hold my breath. I've been disappointed so many times that I just don't have any faith left. I'm considering that if this test comes back negative yet again, I'm just going to have a hysterectomy. I'm sick of the physical and emotional pains its caused me. So those are the main points on what happened yesterday. I left out some of the other things that happened like my fiance and I talking about possibly calling off the wedding for another couple years or just forgetting about what I want in a wedding and just go to the judge's chambers with only close family and friends and not having a reception to celebrate because pregnant or not, we really can't afford to have a wedding at all. I also left out the part where my future mother in law called to see how I was doing and she was like "oh, that's just so far away and that's such a long wait, blah blah blah." I'm like, I know, it's my body and it's my choice and I am NOT budging on seeing any doctors in the town where I live because as I disclosed in my last blog, THEY DON'T LISTEN! She called back a few minutes later and gave me a phone number for the same bloody place I said I was NEVER going to again in the same bloody town I said I would NOT see any more doctors. I'm like, yeah. Thank you SO much for listening. I know, her heart's in the right place. I just don't appreciate not being listened to all the time. Anyway, I have to go. I'm already late for work. Where I wish I didn't have to go. I whine every time the alarm goes off. Not because it woke me up, but because that means I have to go to a place that I hate more than life itself. Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted as I learn more. Sorry for the long rant.
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XANGELSTEARZX 7/10/2013 11:04AM

    I'm not sure what the area you live in is like...we're super rural...but, for our wedding my DH and I hit the phone hard. I called every church/minister in our area and we found someone that was willing to let us use the church (though he didn't marry people without counseling them he did let us bring in a guy we found that only does weddings for $100), decorate ourselves (though it was Christmas time so we went with the theme b/c it was cheap we already had decorations in storage, btw white Christmas balls would probably make a cute year round decoration), and he only asked for $100 to "rent" the church and it was a teeny tiny super cute log cabin with a pasture behind it filled with beautiful paint horses. My grandma and I made our cake...box cake mix, 3 different size round pans, cheapo Walmart cake stands and white frosting and some of those candy pearls placed around the bottom in a row. We had the reception at the Shiner's Club building and asked family to do a pot luck style dinner and byob in lieu of presents (because we already had a home and didn't really need a new toaster). It was crazy cheap, like less than $500 all together b/c I even "rented" the dress from a friend for $50. The most expensive thing of the day was the flat tire we had before the ceremony and having to rush to the store and buy DH some new pants because he was covered in mud and snow. Instead of having a photographer we gave everyone a small gift bag with those cheesy little bubbles, some little candies and select bags had disposable cameras in them with an envelope to return the negatives in so we could have copies....we ended up with some really great photos and some really embarrassing ones too.
*Shrugs* That was long and ramble-y but, I was trying to share some hope and ideas...

emoticon I understand what you mean about the pain of TTC and let emotional roller coaster. In fact, I had a small mental breakdown when the Dr. said this is my last month on Clomid because we need to explore other options. I was like screw it all...I will just get another dog! Lol.

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NUTRON3 7/10/2013 9:46AM

    How frustrating!

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MIRMIUM 7/10/2013 9:42AM

    That sounds like a long series of unfortunate incidents! At LEAST you managed to get your blood drawn for a test yesterday. I am so glad you will have some answers on Thursday.

I am sure you are really disappointed about possibly not having the wedding you wanted. My brother is getting married in August. They are doing a bbq in his fiance's mother's backyard. They are buying the food prior and we are all going to chip in and help prep it the day before the wedding. Outdoor weddings can be really beautiful and there is no saying that you have to have your wedding at an expensive hall or even that you have to have catered food. I'm not trying to discourage you from going the city hall route if that is the best option for you guys, but just putting out there that there ARE some really inexpensive ways to do a wedding that might be more satisfying to you.

Why is it that you are considering a hysterectomy?

I know that ttc can be a crazy rollercoaster but if it is upsetting you that much, maybe you should take a break and use birth control? That way you would KNOW that there is no way you could be pregnant and it would be a load of your mind. In the meantime, you could focus on your health. Of course, that is assuming that you are not CURRENTLY pregnant which you very well might be!

Anyways, I wish you all the best and I am hoping you have some happy news on Thursday :) Doctors can be such a pain sometimes. I am assuming that you do not have a family doctor since you have been running around trying to find someone to prescribe you a simple blood test!

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NOTANINJA 7/10/2013 9:39AM

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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