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    DIANEDOESSMILES   43,619
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Starting to FREAK OUT ! Scared, yet VERY HOPEFUL

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Today was a BUSY DAY with the phone.

I got the call from Dr's office who "may" do the amputation of left foot (For those whom aren't reg readers,,,, I have neuropathy very badly,, all hhe blood veins, muscles are starting to gather together on the bottom of my foot,,,its NASTY and HURTS WICKLY !) and so my appoint is ALREADY COMING UP FAST of Next Weds !!! I DID NOT expect it to be so FAST for in Maine,,when you need even BADLY to see a specialist ,,,you HAVE TO wait 2 or 3 months,, USUALLY 3. So that's what I was prepared for, yet I KINDA knew that since I've seen him b4,,,it would NOT take this long.

So yeah,,,, it's starting to happen fast,,, and yeah that DOES FREAK ME OUT !!!! Just in the timing,,,for I WANT IT DONE AND OVER with,,if this is the route he's going to take. For you who are NOT reg readers,,, I've already have had 3 other Dr's say this needs to be done,, including one in Denver , CO where they REALLY KNOW WHATs what though that Dr was UNKIND in saying CAUSALLY "You DO know that ur left foot needs to come off, than ur right foot will be behind it",,,I DO NOT know if this true about the right foot,,,IHOPE NOT for if so ,,,it'll be so HARd on me, yet that foot is hurting as badly as the left,,, if you do not know me,,, I've already had 15 surgs trying to do our best for this foot, with the last 2 being "The last resort" to save it. SO please if your thinking "DO NOT DO THIS ! Get ANOTHER opinion" you can see I've had 3 already.

Does this SCARE ME TO YIKERS??? OF COURSE !! mostly in that I'll get a staph infection (I TEND to CATCH EVERY THING there is f!! ALso and this DOES make me GIGGLE at first,, the fire alarm will go off (I live in a high rise this happens A LOT with buring foods ! GOOLLY !) and I'll NOT think and START to JUMP out a bed,,,and go RUNNIN For the door,,, LOL without the foot,, that's NOT gonna work !! So need to be careful I DO NOT BREAK any bones,,, I have otheoporsis very badly,,, we are looking at daily SHOTS for that !. I can see a cartoon of someone runnin without a foot,,,,,, and many GIGGLING at that with OUT realizing the DAMAGE I could do to myself. Or having to use the Ladies QUICKLY whereas I have IBS also. hmmm the possibilities are ENDLESS !!!

Maybe they have you tie urself to the bed lightly? I had a foot Dr do that,,,so I'd NOT get out of bed quickly. His surg was extensive on me. Though it "sounds strange" it WAS A GREAT reminder to NOT jump out on that foot which was newly done.

We shall see,,,also FREAKING OUT about being in hosp than REHAB !! I DO NOT like EITHER PLACE !! I can 'BRIEFLY Tolderate hosp if I am conked out from a surg,, the day passes without ya knowing it. I DETEST Rehab will give them 3 days OR LESS to come back home,,,,,, on my own. My GD just got a job,,,, maybe she'd sped a little time wwith me,,,and I am FIECELY wanting to be BACK HOME with kitty cat (That's NOT THE REAL Reason,, Izzy will go to Karens ,, she already knows it there,,, but she always sit there at the door wating for me,, HOW SAD !!),,,, I just am SCARED of picking up a GERM !! AND NOT being so comfy and eating my OWN foods.

OK this is that,, and on the Dawg Bite from last week,, the NASTY as EVER bruise of 3"s is now turning color,,, I saw my Dr on Mon,, its still badly swollen,, she's HOPING when the goes down,,,,, I get BACK the total feeling in pinkie nd that side of my hand,,, it HURTS when typing,,,, or doing much of anything else than havin it in the sling and RESTING IT !!! I am NOT so assured now it'll return for the bruise is getting MUCH better,,,I am a FAST heaer on that part,,,,,, just NOT with bones,, those take forever ! The offier today called (FINNALLY !) wants ,e to persue this with a lawyer so she has more power on what can he done with the dog. That's ALL SCARY !!! First to find out if they had home insurance,,, most likely sicne it was a signal fam home,, I HOPE he's UP on his shots,,,I DO NOT WANT the shots.... so hopefully he's OK,,,, I am NOT comfy with that,, for he /she LUNGED at ,e QUICKLY ! We shall find out soon. I told the officer if my hand comes back I do NOT want to persue tis,,, still she wants it ,,cos once a dawg bites,,it WILL again. THANKFULLY I am NOT a small child, though I AM Short which is in part why it was sooo EASY for it,,, ughers !

THANKS FOR READIN and Helping me. I am hearing A LOT "I do NOT KNOW What to say/do" agbout the foot,,,,,, that is ok,,,I DO understand, but I HAVE A LIFE to LIVE After it eals,,,,, hope others can see tis. Though of course I AM FREAKING and SCAREd its for MY TOTAL Benefit,, if we go that way,,,or AGAIN TRY to save it,,,, the other 2 did NOT work. YiKERs !!! We shall see.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 7/16/2013 7:44PM

    Diane you know you are always in my prayers. Sometimes you get to the point that what appears to be a drastic solution far outweighs the pain. My husband had part of his foot removed following an injury that had not responded to all other attempts to fix the injury. He did much better after that. I'm sure this will work equally as well for you. God bless! emoticon

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FLUFFYSUE1 7/15/2013 4:29AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JERSEYGIRL24 7/13/2013 4:20PM

    Diane,

You are always in my thoughts. It is amazing how someone who has been dealt such tough blows can continue to put others first. Feel free to reach out anytime. Even though I won't be a Dawg this time around, I am still your friend.

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IRISHGAL46 7/11/2013 10:27PM

    You are in my prayers. Good luck.

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WONDERGALE 7/11/2013 2:00PM

    Praying for you!

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SLFGOLF 7/11/2013 1:03AM

    You are going through so much Diane, but always I am here to listen whenever you need. I might not always have the right words, but always have a shoulder to lean on. I know that whatever happens, the doctors will take good care of you. I hope that recovery goes well. I will continue my daily prayers for you. emoticon

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FREEBIRD7100 7/11/2013 12:38AM

    you are in my prayers, as well as the Dr's.

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/10/2013 11:39PM

    Hugs and prayers going your way

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WALKINGBYFAITH2 7/10/2013 8:19PM

    Diane, so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I will, of course, hold you in my prayers and wish only a speedy recovery for you as you adjust to this new change in your life. emoticon

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GRANNYSUE9 7/10/2013 6:51PM

    Diane, I am sorry for all that you have been going through lately. I, too, would be freaking out and scared, but I also know that you are a very strong person and have been through a lot. You have your sense of humor and your faith and those are two great things to have. Whatever the outcome may be, I know that you will make it through with flying colors!! I may not be there, yet, but I am always here for you if you need me. I may be out in those trees you were telling me about! LOL! Lots of hugs, emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon , and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
Sue

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CLAIRESML 7/10/2013 3:58PM

    Diane, emoticon to you

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JOANNKW 7/10/2013 3:19PM

    Will pray.

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MOM_TO_AKI 7/10/2013 12:06PM

    emoticon

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WIO_ALISA 7/10/2013 11:26AM

    No words... just hugs and prayers.


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HELEN_BRU 7/10/2013 10:18AM

    Diane - You are strong and will get through this as well. Meanwhile we are all here for you. It isn't easy, but you WILL get through this!

emoticon emoticon

Looking forward to see you on the Challenge???

Comment edited on: 7/10/2013 10:19:20 AM

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RUFFIT 7/10/2013 9:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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03BFISCHER 7/10/2013 9:23AM

    You have had a very challenging time lately. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way! Stay positive, from what I have seen you are up for the challenge. We are all here for you! Take care!!!

emoticon

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AEROBISAURUS 7/10/2013 9:12AM

    Diane, be fearless! emoticon You can get through this and you will. What is, is. emoticon emoticon emoticon

~Nik

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GOULDSGRANITE 7/10/2013 8:48AM

    Diane - Surely your positive attitude and great sense of humor will see you through this challenge you are facing. Praying for you to find comfort and relief every day. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIRMIUM 7/10/2013 8:27AM

    Well, it sounds like they might opt to do an amputation. Honestly, with all the surgeries and the pain that you have suffered through, this might actually be a positive thing. They have great prosthetics these days! I know he was a crazy person who probably murdered his girlfriend, but look at Oscar Pistorios who ran in the olympics with two prosthetic legs! Just think that this might actually allow you to do some activities that you have not been able to do because of the neuropathy! Maybe looking into what kind of prosthetics you can get would cheer you up a bit!

Sorry to hear of your struggles.

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KANDOLAKER 7/10/2013 8:24AM

    Sending you thoughts of peace and comfort! This too shall pass, and you will be getting rid of the pain - and ready to REALLY live your life pain free! We got your back and are here for you. Deep breaths and know that you will do just fine. Hugs!!!

emoticon

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 7/10/2013 8:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMACOO 7/10/2013 7:20AM

    Diane -
I know this has been a long time coming and am sorry they have not found another solution for you. Only you would find the humor in "seeing yourself" try to run for the door without a foot! Bless you for thinking of the humor when you are so scared about this.

And rehab? Think of all the VEGGIES they will serve you! Oh, YIKERS!

emoticon
Pam

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LOPEYP 7/10/2013 7:19AM

    Sending good thoughts you way emoticon

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RISINGBLUESTAR 7/10/2013 5:38AM

    I am so sorry you are going through all of this! It is definitely scary!
I don't think anyone would laugh at someone without a foot but I can see why your head is is coming up with all sorts of possibilities about things that could happen. Don't drive yourself crazy with all the thoughts or at least try not too.

emoticon Hoping the best for you.

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CANDOK1260 7/10/2013 5:22AM

    emoticon hope you get the surgery soon and get through this quickly
I walked in the pub yesterday and I couldn't help but notice a guy sat at the bar scribbling on some paper and laughing hysterically.
"Why are you so happy?" I asked.
"My wife's been on a diet for the last 4 days, and she's lost 5 pounds." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?" I asked.
"Well," he says "I've worked out that in 4 months, she will have disappeared completely!"

Comment edited on: 7/10/2013 5:22:33 AM

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SANDYCRANE 7/10/2013 4:56AM

    My prayers are with you Diane. I am so sorry you are going thru this, you are such a great person for all that you did with the Dawgs. Take care and I will be praying for you.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYANNSQUEST 7/10/2013 3:30AM

    Diane,
Your heart and your faith will guide you to what you need to do for you! Your a fantastic person and a true SPARKFRIEND! My whole family have you in our prayers!
emoticon emoticon
Mary Ann

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RORYLYONS 7/10/2013 3:21AM

    Oh my Diane I am so sorry to hear about what your having to go through. Your on my prayer list....sending many emoticon

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RAINBOWCHOC 7/10/2013 3:00AM

    sending love across the pond

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RAINBOWCHOC 7/10/2013 3:00AM

    sending love across the pond

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