Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Paranoia. Definately paranoia. When my bran is not busy with other things, like work, math homework. or a nice long workout, I get scared and depressed. There are a multitude of reasons I can have an anxiety attack, starting from the latest stupid thing I did at work to my weight, health and future. Future is the general boogey man in my closet. After my job here is done, I will be unemployed. I have a degree, but I've never been able to find work in my field. The field I am currently working in is shrinking, and with my health issues I may not be able to keep this it up either. At this point I have two choices: take up a part-time position while looking for a new job, or go back to school. The problem with going back to school is that I would accumilate student loans, and what if I cannot find a job in the field I get a degree in? I am in my 30s, and the thought of working in a mall somewhere trying to pay off six-digit school loans for the rest of my life scares the heck out of me. Well... my resume is polished up, my suits are dry cleaned. I guess all I can do at this point is work out, lose weight, take as many classes as I can and try to maintain optimism. Looking at the bright side, maybe I can get a part-time job at the local gym or health food store. That would be fun.