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    LADYIRISH317   68,198
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Going to the doctor tomorrow

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

I tried for two days to call my doctor. Tonight I finally did it, and I'm seeing her tomorrow. I've been having dizzy spells and night cramps in my right hand, and I'm scared. Maybe I'm being silly, but everyone I know who's had ALS had it start in the hands. I'm oddly praying it's ONLY carpal tunnel.

I have a difficult confession to make. I talked in my last blog about saving my blood pressure medicine. I've been saving it because I've been wrestling with self-destructive thoughts. Meantime I'm not taking it for my blood pressure!

I am scared. Right now I don't know if I can see a future. I'm in a black hole. I badly need to hug someone but there isn't anybody here.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS_TOAD 7/11/2013 8:38AM

    You have definitely been given some really good advice. I hope you got some good news from the doctor that will help lift your spirits.

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GOALWTIN7 7/11/2013 1:49AM

  Decades ago I attended O.A. meetings (over-eaters anonymous) They all hug at the end of the night. Please get to a meeting. You will feel so much better. Staying in the house when you feel this way is not good.

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CAROLJEAN64 7/10/2013 3:55PM

    I have read some of the posts here and they offer great advice. Be sure to write down your symptoms and your questions. I always forget something I meant to say or ask. Take a note pad so you can make notes of what the doctor tells you and know that the number of virtual hugs coming your way is countless. We all wish we were close enough to be with you.

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CHEFSOPHIE 7/10/2013 2:48PM

    Maybe it is time for a visit to Arthur again.

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CINCYDORA 7/10/2013 1:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. Hang in there. Keep talking and keep reaching out for help. You will find a way out.

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LIS193 7/10/2013 11:21AM

    You have taken an important step - you made the appointment!!
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Now you need to tell your doctor about ALL your concerns, mental and physical. It is hard to open up but the doctor is there to help you.
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CIRANDELLA 7/10/2013 10:56AM

    Mary, please don't have any apprehension whatsoever about talking to your doctor about this. I have a very strong feeling that you do not have ALS, but I'm sure you'll be relieved to find out what the cause of your symptoms are. Most likely, they are unrelated to each other. I'm concerned about your dizziness and that you haven't taken your blood pressure medicine, though, and I think it would be an excellent idea to talk to your doctor about this. They're always far, far less judgmental than we fear they are, too - or such has been my own experience. emoticon

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BECKYSRN 7/10/2013 10:05AM

    Mary, have you talked to Arthur about these feelings? I haven't heard you mention him for a while...
Please know that you have a lot of people here that care for you and care for what happens to you. Including me.
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DONEGIRL 7/10/2013 8:45AM

    Thinking of you. Talk to your doctor about how you feel. And keep posting here- you know people care about you. Nóirín

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GIA_ROSY 7/10/2013 6:56AM

    My dear Mary....I hope you will confide your feelings to your doctor. You have so many friends here who are really concerned about you. Please, please take care of yourself.
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WINDSONG~ 7/10/2013 5:54AM

    Share with your doctor and know that you have many friends HERE.

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NEW-CAZ 7/10/2013 2:41AM

    I totally agree with COMFYGLAMDIVA Mary, don't let this fester hun emoticon emoticon

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 7/10/2013 1:49AM

    Mary, please tell your Doctor about your thoughts on doing harm to yourself. I know its very easy for people to say things like it will get better or take one day at a time, but it all starts within. It seems like a big black hole and you're stuck right in it with no idea on how to get out, but you've already started because you're admitting your truth to. You do need to talk to a professional about how you feel. I know awhile back you were, are you still?

There are lots that care and love you. Even though we can't give you a real hug, this one will have to do ((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))

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ALLYALLYT 7/10/2013 1:43AM

    You are in my prayers. Please feel better soon, emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 7/10/2013 12:48AM

    (HUGS) PLEASE tell your doctor about your suicidal thoughts. I have been very worried about you for a while. (HUGS)

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MT-MOONCHASER 7/10/2013 12:42AM

    TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS!!!

That is a serious symptom and you should consider getting medication to help you with your depression. There should be no shame about this and although you would rather not get that prescription, please consider it.

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 7/10/2013 12:23AM

    Mary, if you were here or if we were there with you, we would all give you lots of hugs. Let us know how your doctor's appointment goes tomorrow. Take your medicine, and please put those 'self-destruction' thoughts out of your mind. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

HUGS
Pam

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TORTILLAFLATS 7/9/2013 11:47PM

    Mary, get to the doctor and start taking your meds. Please, if it gets worse you need to call 911, Don't allow your life to slip away!

Hugs and prayers, Gail

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MONETRUBY 7/9/2013 11:17PM

    Adding my own virtual emoticon to those already offered. I wish I could be there in person for them, but this will have to stand in.

Praying for you, and that the visit to the doctor will help you begin to heal.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/9/2013 10:43PM

    Praying for you and sending you hugs.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Blessings and more hugs,
Helen

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DIDMIS 7/9/2013 10:31PM

    What can I say that has not already been said. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/9/2013 10:32:31 PM

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JILL313 7/9/2013 10:26PM

    Like Everyone else I really care about you and I've felt just how you feel right now. Starting right now take your BP medicine that alone can explain your dizzyness as you need to lower your BP. And, when your depressed it's true you can have physical symptoms such as your having with your hand. It could very well be the beginning of a little arthritis in your hands as I get that cramping and aching feeling in my hands but truthfully it mainly happens when I'm stressed out or feeling depressed. Be completely honest with your Dr. tomorrow as she can't help you if you don't tell it like you told us. She is a professionally and she will do what she can for you. . .Tell her how black your mood is and maybe you need to be on an anti-depressant. I know personally that they don't work overnight as they take a week or two to be completely working well in your body. I'm so glad you bit the bullet and are seeing her tomorrow. . .maybe write down how you feel and some questions you have and hand it to her if that's easier than saying it out loud. I want you to feel much better and happier. . . Hug your Teddy Bear really tight tonight and try to get as much sleep as possible. I will be praying for you my new dear friend. I want nothing but the best for you.

Hugs & Love,

Jill emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BIGPAWSUP 7/9/2013 10:20PM

    Take your meds and I hope the doctor can help you.

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SHARON10002 7/9/2013 10:14PM

    When you go to the doctor tomorrow, tell her what you've told us here. Know that we are all here and standing beside you in spirit. Sending you lots of virtual emoticon .

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JUDY1676 7/9/2013 9:57PM

    emoticon and emoticon coming to you. I'm glad to hear you're seeing the Dr. Keep us informed about what you find out.

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KRISKECK 7/9/2013 9:36PM

    Saying a prayer for you, Lady Irish...there is a way out. So glad you made a doctor's appointment. Sending positive energy and good thoughts your way. Maybe it's just online but you aren't alone, you have us.

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LINOVER 7/9/2013 9:33PM

    Take your medicine - your doctor would not have prescribed it if you didn't need it!
Talk to your doctor and tell her what you have told us - hopefully you are overthinking what may be wrong with you! emoticon Hang in there!

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MUFFINSKI 7/9/2013 9:25PM

    Sending all the virtual hugs in me. Hang in there, honey, please. You have your wonderful dreams to hold on too. Please talk to your doctor about this and PLEASE start taking your medication.
SP cares and I know I do too...
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SHOAPIE 7/9/2013 9:20PM

    Talk honestly with your doctor of what you've just told us.

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SPARKLE1908 7/9/2013 9:19PM

    I like the idea of the teddy bear (and that's not childish)...please make sure that you tell your doctor how you are feeling (about being alone, etc) as well as the reason why you aren't taking your medicine...I am sending positive vibes your way and I pray that you know that you are loved by a lot of people!!!

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ETLNOW 7/9/2013 9:12PM

    Hello dear LADYIRISH, I am sending good thoughts to you to be as kind and gentle to yourself as you can be. Sadness and depression are very difficult, in my 62 years I have been where you are several times and I understand the feelings that you have now. If you stay calm you can know that though painful, this will pass. I promise you, it passes. Hugs are being sent to you now. Please call this number 800.273.8255 now, someone there can offer you help.


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1CRAZYDOG 7/9/2013 9:02PM

  I am very glad to hear that you have a Drs. appt. tomorrow. **SIGH** It's hard, but hang in there till then. So sorry things have been so rough for you.

HUGS my dear.

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NASFKAB 7/9/2013 9:02PM

  wish could come over & hug you all the best

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SARAHL817 7/9/2013 8:45PM

    I know it sounds a little childish, but . . . buy a teddy bear! When there's nobody around for me to hug, a teddy bear makes a nice substitute.

I hope the doctor's appointment goes okay tomorrow. Hopefully it's something relatively minor and easy to take care of.

And not to sound like a nudge, but . . . take your BP medication! Some of your other symptoms may somehow be related to blood pressure . . . you never know - so maybe if you take the medication you'll feel a lot better! And there may even be some connection between blood pressure and depression, you never know - maybe improving your blood pressure will help with the depression as well.

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SEATTLE58 7/9/2013 8:39PM

    Awwww Sweetie, the best thing is that you made an appt., and then you can get help for whatever it is and the earliest is always best, so you're doing the best you can! emoticon and more emoticon

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SHARONCAPPS 7/9/2013 8:38PM

  ((((Hugs)))). You hang in there and think positive. Hope you can get something for your depression.

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HEALTHIERMAMA57 7/9/2013 8:35PM

    emoticon emoticon Hang in there.....I understand about being depressed. Think positive thoughts about getting yourself healthy and feeling better. talk to the doctor tomorrow about your depression as well. Sending you warm thoughts and good vibes. emoticon emoticon

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