I’ve finally built up some momentum and I’m starting to get results.
I’m still doing Kaia FIT, a women’s-only bootcamp-type program. We recently did a 6-week Brik, which is basically a more intensive session than the 5-week sessions we normally do. While I didn’t commit fully to the diet portion of the program, I made it to every workout (5 days a week) during Brik. I wake up at 4 am to be in Carlsbad by 5 am, and there is a huge difference between doing that 3 days a week and 5 days! I was one tired girl by the end of the week. But I felt so much better overall!
While I have lost about 21 pounds since the beginning of the year and a few inches overall, that’s not what I’m happiest about. It’s about what I’ve gained so far. I’m a little stronger from the bodyweight workouts and I’ve started lifting weights in my garage. And these have given me the biggest confidence boost.
At the end of an outdoor Kaia workout last week, I was feeling pretty drained by the end of it. While the others ran to the other end of the parking lot, I walked back. It was all I had in me, I thought. Then the instructor had one last surprise: everyone had to hold a plank with their feet up on a retaining wall. Everyone was in place by the time I got there. The one good thing about a fast-paced workout is that it limits the time I have to think, I can’t do this/My body doesn’t work that way/etc. Those thoughts have always been automatic for me. But they’re beginning to fade. I took a look at everyone’s feet to see how they placed them on the wall, and then I got myself into position. There was a whisper of, I can’t do this, but there was a louder voice that said, How do you know? And that is becoming more common these days.
I have been taking progress photos of myself so I can see how I change. But I swear I don’t see any difference yet! Maybe a little in my face, but only from one angle. I can’t see the changes that are happening, but I can feel them.
Back in April, WOLFKITTY, my husband and I hiked up this giant hill near where we live. This past weekend, we hiked to Double Peak again. At the top is a beautiful old tree, and you can enjoy a 360-degree view of northern San Diego County. The first hike was a leg killer. We hadn’t hiked in a while and some parts are pretty steep. It was challenging and I felt the effects for days afterward. This time, it was still challenging and I was sweating buckets, but I felt stronger on the way up. Some Kaia girls had reached the top long before we did, and they even ran past us on their way down while we were still hiking! That happens on every Kaia run, too. I’m always last! But that doesn’t bother me as much anymore.
Kaia has a few mantras and one is, Find your hard. And I do. I know that my version of hard is another girl's warm-up, and that’s OK. As I progress, it’ll be my warm-up one day, too.