my body hates me...
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
It sounds funny but it feels so true today. My body isn't the only thing I've let go over the days, weeks, months, and years, so I have lots of things to do to get my life together. Today I started with house cleaning and clutter. My ass started aching and screaming at me just for putting dishes in the washer. She's so used to just spreading herself out on my couch that she didn't know what to do with herself.
Continuing on, it was time to tackle my car windows and drag garbage around the block to the dumpsters. Just moving cardboard boxes from my patio to my car had the small of my back feeling like it was going to implode. Looks like I'm just another Philly building waiting to crumble to the ground.
But, this is what beginnings are made of.. the tough hurtles, the aches from everyday activities, and the wondering of "how'd this happen?" The answer to that question is obvious, of course. It's hard to accept that I did this. I sat around. I stopped doing things that kept me nearly fit. I ate instead of voicing my anger, hurt, frustration, and boredom.
I also get to undo all I did and do all I didn't do before.
Maybe soon my body will not solely hate me and we can work out a new beginning for our relationship. We'll have a few conversations while I'm doing different things. The louder she speaks will tell me how patient I need to be with her. Slow and gentile going will start us off but hopefully we'll hit our stride before the snows try to lock us in or force us to go to battle against it with a stronger core and a shovel.
Time to finish up and contribute to the cardboard recycling pile.