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Making Friends with Yourself

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Rick making friends with himself in Casablanca

I “like” George Takei on Facebook. I love his posts, most are funny, and some are serious and there is a nice balance between the two. They are always sensitive to the feelings of others.

He provided a link to this short clip of an interview with Dustin Hoffman about his role in Tootsie. Mr. Hoffman has a real revelation that he talks about in the clip. His revelation centers on the fact that when he got dressed to look like a woman, he was not attractive. This was a real “aha” moment for him.

Link to Dustin Hoffman:

This raised a question for me this morning. If I met myself, would I want to be friends with me? I think now the answer is yes, although it wasn’t always so. And part of that was based on my appearance. The key for me has been to let go of the tiresome judging that was going on in my head. Since I have released the need to judge others (look at that! Why so many tattoos? I hate when people pierce their fill in the blank. He’s talking to himself. She’s so self-serving. On and on, ad infinitum), I’ve found that I have also dropped the habit of looking at myself with a hypercritical eye. I know that I do not fit the mold of what a woman “should” look like, I’m sure many people do not find me “attractive.” I feel so good; I find it hard to despair about my appearance. I just can’t do it anymore.

To answer my own question, behind me is a period where I did not treat myself like a friend. I’ve let that go, it doesn’t serve me. I embrace my healthy habits and I know that (to quote Rick in Casablanca) “this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Link to Casablanca clip:
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for another beautiful blog.
    I'm trying to quiet the commentary in my mind. I think "I'm so tired or hungry or thirsty"
    Every time those thought arise, I try to replace them with "I'm so blessed"
    1702 days ago
    Gosh - that video clip made me tear up too! I so often look at myself and think I look old, fat, unattractive - even when other people tell me they like my hair like that, or my dress etc - sigh - it runs deep! Thank you so much x
    1707 days ago
    "What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself." Hecato,

    It's a long journey, to be your own friend. Thanks for sharing.
    1715 days ago
    I love LOVE LOVE your post. I find there is a bit of truth there for me too - the funny things is when WE like ourselves better and WE stop judging others so harshly - OTHERS do the same with us and in fact, some change THEIR attitudes and reaction to others too. When asked what I teach, I almost always say, "children" then go on and explain that I teach in a self-contained Autism classroom but the reactions of others is almost always PRICELESS. They suddenly realize that not only is teaching impacting the lives of children, but that even those children I work with are PEOPLE FIRST and then whatever else. I am going to copy this blog and post it by the computer to remind me when I start to feel like beating me up for all of my inadequacies.
    1716 days ago
  • WILDKAT781
    very interesting thoughts - thank you for sharing
    1716 days ago
    Gotta love Casablanca!
    1716 days ago
    That was touchy interview. I appreciate his experience of become women and understand how it feels to be un attractive women and he had missed great optunity to get to know those women friends in the past and seemed he deeply regretted it. We needs all the men and women to experience this type of experiment and how it feels. So there should be no discriminations in our society. Or appreciate who we are not just by looks. Mr. Take I is a one of my favorite actor who shars same origins country of mine. Thanks for sharing this thoughtful blog.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1716 days ago
    Thank you for the very thoughtful post and the video clip. I love it when people refer to Bogart, Hoffman, and Takei all at the same time!
    1716 days ago
    Well put, Lis ... 'ain't good to know that you got a friend ... people can be so cold..."
    1716 days ago
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