Tuesday, July 09, 2013
I keep telling myself, just like they say in the book: "Beating cancer is hard. Quitting heroin is hard. This is not hard." Yeah, well, I think its pretty darn hard and its only day 2! I've certainly been through hard things in my life, so I get that there are harder things.
I struggled last night after dinner. Just felt immediately hungry after I ate. A SP friend suggested I didn't eat enough fat, so I went back and had some avocado and salsa. Waited. Still hungry. Woke up this morning to an egg scramble with peppers/onion/avovado. Ended up in tears because it was all incredibly unsatisfying to me. Luckily I didn't have any frozen waffles in the house (my weakness with some PB on top), or else i totally would've killed some. I know people say the first week is especially hard....but, wow. Maybe this isn't for me.
On top of it all, I'm still dealing with an ectopic pregnancy that hasn't quite gone away. My body still thinks I'm pregnant, and the medication I'm on to make to make the pregnancy "resolve" is actually a low-dose chemo drug which makes me nauseous. Also insert feeling emotionally awful here. Perhaps I looked to Whole30 as something I could control in light of feeling completely out of control with this pregnancy.
So, second-guessing as to whether this was a good idea for me right now. I don't want to quit, but perhaps easing into Paleo would've been a better idea.
Feeling generally poopy....and hungry....