Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Whenever I write a blog like 'LIES & EXCUSES' I expect to offend people. I'm not saying I WANT to. I'm saying I expect to. I'm always amazed at the positive responses I get. Those of you who know me, know I'm very opinionated about EVERYTHING. Those of you who don't know me probably don't have to read much of my writing to figure out I am very opinionated about everything! If I'm not passionate about it, I don't talk about it! HA!
When I write those kind of blogs I write them as much for me as I do for an 'audience'! I can lie to myself, to you, to my kid, to my DOG! I choose not to! Lying is not an option! I hear people lie about ridiculous stuff ALL the time. Try this, if it doesn't really matter, DON'T SAY ANYTHING! Pretty simple! If it matters a little give BASIC information... I'm sorry. They are busy. They can't come to the phone right now. Busy covers EVERYTHING!!! The bathroom, mowing the lawn, even sleeping!!! YOU DON'T NEED TO LIE!!! If it matters a lot, give pertinent information. Nothing more, nothing less! If somebody starts drilling you, you do NOT need to give them any more! You do not need to justify or give an excuse to anyone! If you don't want to do something somebody asks, say, 'No.' That's it! NO! If you start lying or making excuses you are trying to justify! You don't owe anyone justification for not wanting to do something! NO! See how easy that is? NO!
Don't get me wrong. I still justify unnecessarily sometimes. Good example: 4th of July my son's older brother wanted to come over after his dad got off of work for US to BBQ. Sure they were willing to bring all the food. Great! But, who do you suppose has to clean up after they leave??? Me & Lenny! Who will do all the cooking??? Lenny! Lenny worked 8:30-8 the day before, the of & the day after the 4th! He didn't want to do anything. He's tired! I started JUSTIFYING why we weren't going to because Gabe started getting snooty with me. I should have just ended it. Then I DID! I said we weren't doing it! I called Lenny & told him he needed to deal with it! THE END! HA!
The reason I get so upset with lies is because I get lied to alot over junk that MEANS NOTHING to me!!! Not by Lenny! NEVER by my son, Mikhail! Other people feel the need to make up lies rather than just not say anything or a simple yes or no. STOP IT! I didn't ASK!!! Your finances are none of MY business! You don't need to justify why you are broke the day after payday to me! It's none of my concern! If I made it seem like it, I'm sorry. I don't care (sorry...if that sounds mean) why you are broke. If you want to borrow $5, ask me! PERIOD! No need to tell me the cat is at the vet having a life saving hernia operation! Can I borrow $5 until Friday? See how easy that is??? If you don't need to borrow money there is no reason I would even know you are broke the day after payday! You don't need to tell me!
Excuses make me mad because I PERSONALLY have every great excuse in the world to do absolutely NOTHING with my life for me or anyone else! I am an alcoholic, Bipolar, abuse survivor, with fibromyalgia & degenerative bone disease that comes from a family of uneducated, drunken, overweight rednecks on one side & uneducated, drunken, inbred hillbillies on the other!!!
I have the right to be a drunk! My heritage is Native American Indian, Irish & some German! I should be drunk always! My mom was an alcoholic & my dad's dad was an alcoholic! BOTH sides, baby! Give me a bottle of whiskey! POPPYCOCK!
I OWE my son a sober mom! I owe his dad a sober partner! I owe my dad a sober daughter! I OWE ME!!!!!
I have the right to sleep with whoever I want, spend money Lenny hasn't made yet, wreck cars, run away from home, not come home at night, steal, cheat & lie! I'm Bipolar! I'm siiiick!
I'm medicated, went to therapy, learned cognitive behavior skills! I KNOW how to behave!
I have the right to mentally, physically, spiritually & physically abuse anyone who comes across my path! ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY!!! I was abused in all those ways PLUS sexually! I'm the perfect example of somebody who has the right to be abusive! POPPYCOCK!
I remember the pain of all that abuse. I have forgiven it all, but I have not forgotten!!! Why then would I perpetrate that against the people I love most in the world? I want ALL good things for my son. I OWE him the best of me! ALWAYS! OWE! Yes!! OWE!!! I know how hurtful words & actions can be. I do not ever want to repeat those injustices! AND again: I went to therapy & learned cognitive behavior skills! I KNOW how to behave!
I don't need to get out of bed ANY day! I should be able to lay around & do NOTHING as much as I want & never feel guilty about letting everyone else do everything for me! I have fibromyalgia & degenerative bone disease. I'm in constant pain! I should never have to do anything I don't feel like doing! POPPYCOCK!
Again, I OWE my son the best me possible! I remember when I was fat & suffering terrible pain from these problems, my Dr told me I needed to exercise & try to lose some weight. I laughed! Are you kidding me? I barely could get out of bed most days! Well, guess what? i slowly started exercising & I felt better than I had in YEARS! I was able to COMPLETELY quit taking pain pills & I had more energy. When I starting losing weight I felt lighter & brighter with every step! Just not drinking soda helped me lose 20 lbs. & I almost immediately felt better from not having JUNK in my body! Giving up sugar a few years later was hard, but it was the third best thing I ever did for my health. (Only quit drinking & exercise top that one!) Losing weight comes in 4th.
I have the right to be an uneducated, ignorant, politically incorrect redneck hillbilly! CRIPES...I do not even really want to leave that up! It sounds SO ridiculous!!! WHY WOULD I BE THAT???? NO..I do NOT have the right to be that! I am too smart & I definitely OWE Mikhail MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!!!
So, now I have given you my excuses. Do you want to share yours?