Day 1

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

So I started off the morning very excited about my change in diet. I had all kinds of fruits and veggies in the fridge, my meal plan all worked out and was ready to go through the day.

And I did do well. I ate only what I was supposed to, drank all my water and did some walking tonight.

But here I am, at the end of the night, mildly depressed. Let me tell y ou why.

I haven't seen a scale in over a year. I've been terrified of them. I knew that it would give me this huge hateful number and I just couldn't face it. When I decided to do this 90 day challenge, I knew I would have to face the scale again. So I gave myself pep talks. I came up with a number that I thought was a good guess. I picked 285. Thats a big number, but I could handle that. I told myself it was okay and that I'm not any less of a person for being this weight. Because I had done all these pep talks, this challenge didn't seem so scary.

But then I got on the scale (a brand new one that my bf went and bought for me while I was at work). The number wasn't 285. It was 309.

309. I weigh 309 pounds.

I have never weighed this much. Not even come close to it. How could I have let myself get this far away from healthy? The last year has been very hard for me.. but I gained EIGHTY pounds?!? What the hell is wrong with me???

These are the thoughts that I am fighting back. I know that I have to restart my pep talk process. But that's ok. I'm not giving up. I will defeat this number.. and I will never see it again.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Welcome to Sp .... have you joined some Teams?
    1688 days ago
    The good thing is you faced the scale... now let it be your friend and eventually it will give you a number that you like. I say you had a awesome day. nothing to be depressed about.... that number is your starting point to a healthier, happier you.

    Good luck!
    1689 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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