Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    STEPHANNE04   1,060
SparkPoints
1,000-2,499 SparkPoints
 
 

Day 1


Tuesday, July 09, 2013

So I started off the morning very excited about my change in diet. I had all kinds of fruits and veggies in the fridge, my meal plan all worked out and was ready to go through the day.

And I did do well. I ate only what I was supposed to, drank all my water and did some walking tonight.

But here I am, at the end of the night, mildly depressed. Let me tell y ou why.

I haven't seen a scale in over a year. I've been terrified of them. I knew that it would give me this huge hateful number and I just couldn't face it. When I decided to do this 90 day challenge, I knew I would have to face the scale again. So I gave myself pep talks. I came up with a number that I thought was a good guess. I picked 285. Thats a big number, but I could handle that. I told myself it was okay and that I'm not any less of a person for being this weight. Because I had done all these pep talks, this challenge didn't seem so scary.

But then I got on the scale (a brand new one that my bf went and bought for me while I was at work). The number wasn't 285. It was 309.

309. I weigh 309 pounds.

I have never weighed this much. Not even come close to it. How could I have let myself get this far away from healthy? The last year has been very hard for me.. but I gained EIGHTY pounds?!? What the hell is wrong with me???

These are the thoughts that I am fighting back. I know that I have to restart my pep talk process. But that's ok. I'm not giving up. I will defeat this number.. and I will never see it again.
SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
XANADUREALM 7/10/2013 6:11AM

    Welcome to Sp .... have you joined some Teams?

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSELEANOR1957 7/9/2013 2:03AM

    The good thing is you faced the scale... now let it be your friend and eventually it will give you a number that you like. I say you had a awesome day. nothing to be depressed about.... that number is your starting point to a healthier, happier you.

Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
 


Other Entries by STEPHANNE04