Monday, July 08, 2013
Time to let go. time to see I cant do everything alone. I'm going to be making some calls seeing if I cant see about getting help with my grandma.
I cant handle this alone anymore. Its to hard emotionally and physically especailly with me having fibromyalgia which causes me physical pain and brain fog (AKA memory lapses aka brain farts)
I just cant do it anymore. I love my grandma so much but i cant do this alone anymore....
I can only pray that God shows me the right thing to do here. my heart breaks at the thought of putting her in a nursing home, esp since i promised my mom before she died i wouldn't do that...
I'm only 32 and I've spent years of my life taking care of my grandma and im not complaining bc i love her so much but im not strong enough to do this anymore...how do i let go without feeling like the biggest jerk in the world.
I've given up so much to help her. I've did everything for her. I've bent over backwards for her but i feel like love isn't enough and her dementia is killing me inside.
i don't know what to do other than to see about getting help for her...my moms passed away and my ant and uncle do not care.
i leave it at gods hands hopefully he will send me the hope and help i need so desperately because i cant do this anymore. i cant take care of me and her both. I've lost so much of who i am doing this.
I forgot how it feels to be young and have fun because im always on edge worried about her getting hurt or whatever. i just cant do it. so im going to pray god helps me.