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    _RAMONA   43,133
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Skinny? Enough?


Monday, July 08, 2013

You can read the whole thing here:
www.craigharper.com.au/e
xercise-weight-loss/skinny
-enough/


FROM: Craig Harper...

Dear Ladies,

I have some questions for you.

1. When will you be skinny enough?
2. How will you know?
3. Will it be a number, a feeling, a reflection in the mirror or a comment that tells you?
4. Or maybe something else?
5. By the way, skinny enough for what? [LOVE this one!]
6. Once you are skinny enough, then what?
7. A bit more maybe?

The truth is that some women will never be skinny* enough. Not all, but some. Somewhere, somehow, some women have come to believe that skinny equals good, skinnier equals better and skinniest equals best. You know them. You may even be them.

*Just to be clear here, when I use the term ‘skinny’, I’m not talking about a fit, lean, healthy, athletic female body. No, I’m talking about that super-skinny, ribs-sticking-out, could-faint-from-hunger-at-any
-moment (type) appearance. Unhealthy skinny, not healthy lean. Neither am I talking about women who are naturally thinner than most.

The skinny-ness problem is essentially a psychological and emotional one with a physical consequence, so the shift needs to work from the inside-out to create lasting change. In order for this to happen we must be prepared to challenge existing beliefs, thinking, fears and habits and to tell ourselves new stories (based on logic and reason, not fear).

Switch your focus to your health, strength, flexibility and fitness (rather than your skinny-ness) and your body will take care of itself. If you’re fit, strong, flexible and healthy, you’ll look and feel amazing.







Increasingly (and way too often for my liking, or comfort level), I catch my 9-year-old daughter *critically* examining herself in the mirror, and I feel SO SAD. She evaluates herself in ways I would never dream to, and which I have been very careful to not encourage (I grew up with a self-loathing mother and I know first hand how that can affect a girl's self perceptions). I can't imagine where this inclination of hers comes from (I've asked if anyone at school speaks negatively about how she looks/dresses/acts... her answer is always 'no').

I point out women of all body types, shapes, sizes and age that I find beautiful (nearly everyone... but if she's being down on her own nose I deliberately choose women with prominent noses, or if she's being critical of butts I point out the beauty in every manner of derriere... except those immodestly clothed, lol... lack of modesty and dignity is NEVER 'beautiful' in our world).

I never talk about myself in a disparaging way... I call myself beautiful, I admire my own hair, and eyes, and smile, and strength, and I speak about my journey here as an exciting adventure to be STRONGER, healthier, more active... NEVER thinner, or more attractive.

I always admire my girl's muscles, her strength, her intelligence, her loveliness (in terms of behaviour and deportment), her effort, her accomplishments, her grace... I never evaluate her physical attributes in anything other than the most postive and encouraging ways... and you've seen her picture... she is LOVELY by any standards (even if she wasn't a classic beauty, I would still respond the same way)... yet she looks in the mirror and she sees imperfection.... And it breaks my heart.

I will consider my job done, and our victory won, when not one other article is written to remind women of the obvious...

'Skinny' has nothing to do with anything... it's completely irrelevant.

It's not how you look, but how you move through the world that makes you enviable and admirable.

It's the unique combination of your physical traits that makes you intriguing and beguiling.

It's not how attractive others find you, but how you view yourself, that determines beauty.

If you’re fit, strong, flexible and healthy, you’ll look and feel amazing... and no matter your size, shape, age, colour, or specific physical attributes... no matter what... YOU are BEAUTIFUL!

YOU are always ENOUGH!




My Divine Miss O... how can she not see her own beauty (and you can see only her face... you should see her heart, and spirit, and ENERGY)?!





Dear Women of the World...
(more Craig)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=5298249



When Your Mother Says She's Fat
www.rolereboot.org/life/
details/2013-06-when-your-
mother-says-shes-fat



How I Want My Daughter to Look
www.rolereboot.org/life/
details/2013-06-how-i-want
-my-daughter-to-look










...Because your body WILL take care of itself... if you let it!

So, JUST DO IT.

UNTIL.



UNTIL. (My 'Just Do It' blog)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=3541059



'BEFORE' Pictures (May 31, 2009 - September, 2011) & Continuing PROGRESS (February 2012)! Next pictures SEPTEMBER 2013! www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=2108514

(I'm now keeping these right under my nose... in addition to being part of every blog I post, they are printed off and taped to my bedroom mirror... and I update whenever I feel the need - likely early September, 2013... to either see for myself what feel like significant changes, or to encourage myself to keep the faith when I feel no change at all despite my efforts)


Measurements, Musings & Motivation to MOVE!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=2108455

(UPDATED/rewritten: JUNE, 2012)


I've Reached My Goal Weight!!!!!!!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=2108522

NOTE: My weight tracker is NOT a truthful representation of my weight. Instead, I am using it as a tool to help me visualize my goal as though it's already been achieved!
(Tom Venuto)


DONE Girl Love...
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=3694266

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)


Leaving NORMAL... In Pursuit of Happiness
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=2232914



Why I'm STILL here... my SparkJourney Saga
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=1656330





(quote by CHRISTINE MASON MILLER)
simonemesham.files.wordp
ress.com/2011/06/handwritt
en-journey-life-life-quote
s-path-quote-favim-com-384
50_large1.jpg?w=500&h=334





Words CAN Be Enough... page 3
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=4932741



Paleo... Do you really know what you're talking about?
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=4964697



Comparison Chart: Primal/Paleo/Ancestral, etc.
www.eat-real-food-paleod
ietitian.com/support-files
/dietcomparisonguide.pdf



Breakfast is Served! (RECIPES)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
ge_public_journal_individu
al.asp?blog_id=5018597






"There is inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experiences, who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on."
www.operationbeautiful.c
om



"I sat on a bus once, looking at the people around me. Very few of them were skinny, or particularly pretty either. But most of them had someone with them, family, friends, people who loved them. it came to me that no matter how ugly you feel you are, someone will find you beautiful. The trick is to see yourself as they see you, and to accept that as the truth, instead of some distorted view of the 'ideal' woman." STONECOT




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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
-LINDA_S 7/9/2013 7:30AM

    Why do we so often feel that we are not good enough when we really are? Thanks, Ramona, for another wise, thought-provoking blog!

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NEW-CAZ 7/9/2013 2:50AM

    The divine Miss O has an excellent role model and wise mum to look to.

Skinny is NOT attractive, strong and toned and healthy IS!

You have a beautiful daughter Ramona!

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ACTIONHEROFOX 7/9/2013 1:19AM

    Ewwwz. Those models are anything but pretty. Your daughter is adorbs. There are plus-size models out there that are ten times more beautiful than those stick ones. Pfft, beauty is relative.

Comment edited on: 7/9/2013 1:20:06 AM

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_RAMONA 7/9/2013 12:04AM

    Sad though it is, those women in the picture are highly paid, elite runway models... and in their world, that is the height of 'beauty'.

As I stated below, I sometimes wonder if that is an encouraged state of body because ANY clothes would look good in comparison (though I believe even modelling standards are changing, thank God). :(


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DESERTJULZ 7/8/2013 11:48PM

    Your daughter is beautiful. Those way too skinny girls you posted need to go to anorexia rehab.

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FRENCHSEAMS 7/8/2013 11:22PM

    I am definetly skinny enough at 155 at 5'9"

My wrists are 71/2 inches so I'm large boned. I never understood the desire to be ultra thin. Slim yes, but those models have never looked attractive to me.

Your daughter is a beauty though, and she looks like you too! Consider that a compliment.

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NORWOODGIRL 7/8/2013 10:04PM

    As usual your blog is full of those traits that you mention - strength, intelligence, health, inner beauty, and heart. Even more important is your message of caring.
Great job, Ramona!

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CAROL_31649731 7/8/2013 8:54PM

    This says it all: "It's not how attractive others find you, but how you view yourself, that determines beauty." I enjoyed your whole blog, but this one sentence in particular . . . thank you--I needed that this evening!

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BROOKLYN_BORN 7/8/2013 8:39PM

    I agree with Stonecot. Well stated!

while comments that maintain

"Skinny does not cut it for me. It is so ugly to me." sound exactly the same to me as "fat bashing" very hurtful and very sad.

As the blog states:
"no matter your size, shape, age, colour, or specific physical attributes... no matter what... YOU are BEAUTIFUL!

YOU are always ENOUGH!"

We are ALL more than the sum of our body parts.






<
BR>



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OVERACTIVEELBOW 7/8/2013 7:43PM

    So very much to absorb... I will have to come back a few times to truly plumb the depths of this blog.
Thank you for sharing

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STONECOT 7/8/2013 6:41PM

    I sat on a bus once, looking at the people around me. Very few of them were skinny, or particularly pretty either. But most of them had someone with them, family, friends, people who loved them. it came to me that no matter how ugly you feel you are, someone will find you beautiful. The trick is to see yourself as they see you, and to accept that as the truth, instead of some distorted view of the 'ideal' woman.

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JUNEAU2010 7/8/2013 6:24PM

    I have tears in my eyes! Divine Miss O truly is beautiful (as is her mama) and I hope she sees that in herself and derives strength from that.

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JESUSLIGHTSMEUP 7/8/2013 6:08PM

  I don't like skinny and never have.

I want curves and a healthy weight that I feel good at spirit, soul and body.

Skinny does not cut it for me. It is so ugly to me.

I just want to be able to move freely and easily instead of lumbering because of being to heavy.

Excellent blog.

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AMBERZADE67 7/8/2013 5:45PM

    I suppose the key word would be enough. I think I'm enough right now. They are thoughtful questions though. Great blog.

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CINDYAST 7/8/2013 5:16PM

    You are a very wise woman and your daughter is blessed to have a mom like you to encourage her to see her own beauty.

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KNH771 7/8/2013 4:04PM

    Those were interesting questions! Especially #5. I don't think I've ever considered it before... skinny enough to do what?

When I was 300 lbs. I had answers... LOADS OF THEM...

Skinny enough to ride a roller coaster
Skinny enough to fit in an armchair
Skinny enough to fit between cars in a parking lot
Skinny enough to use a regular seat belt and not an "extender" on a plane
Skinny enough to shop in a "regular" store
Skinny enough to see my toes

I could go on, but you get the picture. emoticon

I can do all of those things now, but I don't feel skinny "ENOUGH."

Enough for what? I have NO IDEA! emoticon

You've given me something to think about.

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_RAMONA 7/8/2013 3:59PM

    I sometimes wonder if that is an encouraged state of body (though I believe even modelling standards are changing, thank God) because ANY clothes would look good in comparison. :(

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HWNHMMBRD 7/8/2013 3:58PM

    Wonderful blog!!!! My goal is to lose weight and become more fit, not to get skinny! I am naturally built more like a 40's and 50's pin up model, so the skinniness you describe would be a sign of illness. There is just so much emphasis on size and weight in the media and pop culture, and not enough on being strong and healthy. Thanks for sharing this.

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CRABBYTHING 7/8/2013 3:51PM

    Those models are disturbing. I hate that people think that's a standard to get to.

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