Monday, July 08, 2013
and I still feel like I'm 330+pounds.
I know how to lose the weight. I've done it. So why is maintaining 50THOUSAND times harder?! I've seen every number in the 180's probably 50 times now... I just can't seem to break past that 181. And now, its back up to 185 and climbing and I feel like I'm failing, fast.
Summer is hard. I have never, ever had this much fun in the summer. I'm finally starting to come into my own and be comfortable with myself. I'm wearing cuter clothes, actually caring about my appearance, and overall, trying to have a LOT of fun. Fun comes with consequences. The scale hasn't been normal for over a month now.
I know that I don't have to say "I'll start on Monday." Cause Mondays come and go. So I know I can say, "I'll start today". My month doesn't have to start on the first, it CAN start on the 8th. I need to stop making excuses and buckle down again.
I'm really focused lately on making the most out of life. You realize how short it is and how quickly it goes by, and I don't want to miss anything. But I also don't want to do it fat and miserable. Keeping in shape should be a bigger priority for me. Even though right now it already consumes a lot of my thoughts and time when I'm not working.
I need to focus. I need to remember where I was and how far I've come. I need to spend 20 extra minutes weight training. I just need to find that motivation again. Slippery bugger.