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    MILLIFRED   18,194
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A Woman's work?


Monday, July 08, 2013

I posted in my status this morning that I had finished my outside chores and was ready to start on my traditional job as a wife and mother, making my home comfortable for my family. Are those words to start controversy?

For 30 years I divided my energies, working as first a nurse and then teaching nursing at the university level. During that time I was also the main homemaker which is just as important a role. Recently I learned that one of my nephews, after earning a degree in engineering chose to stay at home and be the homemaker. For this family it has worked out but I wonder what he does with himself now that their youngest is 10 years old and in school all day, at least during the nine month school term. What would a woman do in his place?

For me of course the answer was work in a hospital, come home to cooking, cleaning and gardening (even back then). I sort of saw myself as the "earth" mother and grew most of our vegetables, did a lot of canning, baked my own bread and most of our meals were home cooked from scratch. My husbands contribution was to make peanut butter sandwiches for lunches and heat up whatever I had left for dinner. He worked hard all day, built us two different houses doing almost all the labor himself and was always busy. We lived next door to grandma and grandpa for nine years so the children were getting plenty of attention among all of us and have grown up to be responsible, productive citizens. During that time I also saw it as my job to make the home as attractive and comfortable as possible for the family.

This past month my husband has been doing some needed repairs and putting a new roof on the old part of our house resulting in lots of clutter with tools and "stuff" all over the place. It just doesn't look comfortable, but now he's done and we can get back to normal for us. Today I shall once more start the de-cluttering process!

The point of all this is, how many young women still see their primary role as taking care of their family. Has this been lost with a younger generation coming up and us older ladies retiring and no longer trying to do it all. Has homemaking become a lost art? I don't believe so as I look at my daughters lives and their homes. Their interest centers around their home and their family just as mine did. They may not do the same things, but they are definitely "nest builders" I think our maker must have built that instinct in when he created Eve.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIANNEMT 7/9/2013 10:43AM

    I grew up with Mom very involved in whatever activities we were doing but also doing all the housework. Dad came home at 5 to supper and then would help with sports stuff and would do the lawn work. Now--they both do whatever is needed although Mom does most of the cooking.

When I was working full time, hubby helped. When kids came, we did get someone to help with the housework once a week cause I was busy running the kids. Now--hubby helps or puts up with the level of clean that I am happy with--and I grew up with "Come in, sit down, relax, converse--the house doesn't always look like this--sometimes it's even worse"!

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IMREITE 7/9/2013 1:12AM

    i have one aunt that was am accountant and became a stay at home mom. her children are brilliant, capable and happy. another of my uncles decided to stay at home when their kids were little. he is a great dad and his kids also know and appretiate the work invovled with taking care of the home.

What could be more important then taking care of ourselves and homes? why would you not want your home to be a happy and healthy place? We work hard and oftne people put in lots o time at the office or workplace but yet people dont see to put value in having a home that is not only good for you but also improves your community. i still say that is why kids watch too much tv, or eat to much junk. no one has taken a lead in making sure they are active and eating right.
Being a homemaker is a way you can give the vest of yourself to your family and community.


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MNABOY 7/9/2013 12:21AM

    This blog came at a great time, or at least my reading of the blog. We have been with our grands for the last week, a once a year opportunity due to distance. They are the closest they have been and that is four hours of pushed driving. My parents were available in the same town and wife's parents were here for several years. My parents had a very important role in our children's lives. I hope we can have a favorable impact as well. It is harder to be natural and accomplish all you want to do in 5 days- take out the drive days. We provide a different exposure, outdoorsy, nature and water sports than my daughter and SIL and his parents. We hopefully will help round them out? Two grands were delighted to catch a fish, two nice large mouth bass. They come by the fish stories from all sides. Life is good if you let it be. You and yours let it be good. Thanks for sharing.

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PEGTIGER 7/8/2013 6:09PM

    My husband's mom had a maid even though she didn't work when he was young. He didn't see his father help any, so he didn't feel the need to ever help me, nor did he feel the need to provide me with a maid like his dad did for his mom! I went back to school when my kids were young and he didn't step up at all. Rules changed when I finished and went back to work full time. He still refused to help do any "women's " work, but I quit getting up at 5 to pack his breakfast and lunch. I still make 3 meals a day if we were all home, but if my teenagers could get up, get themselves ready, fix their own breakfast, pack a lunch or plan to buy one at school, so could he! No two people ate breakfast at the same time and I refused to fix 5 separate breakfast at 5 separate times. Now the kids are grown and out, but he still looks at things as women's work. He'd like for me to go back to waiting on him hand and foot, but that's not my plan!

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CELIAMINER 7/8/2013 1:11PM

    I'd have to agree with Astra. When I was a kid nearly a half century ago, I watched as my mom worked her job and then dusted, vacuumed, ironed, etc., late into the night. My dad was on the road all week, but even on the weekend, it was my mother doing gardening, washing clothes, mowing the lawn, and one time even painting the house by herself. When I got my own place, I tried to keep house to her standards, but I found I really wanted to do more with my life than make sure no dust survived. Then, when I got married, I found I resented being expected to work all day, commute, and then be responsible for cleaning and dinner (that marriage didn't last long). I'm now with a man who is willing to split chores with me...he's happy as a clam vacuuming (which I loathe), and I can scrub toilets all day. The house isn't even close to being in order, but when we do clean, it's as a team.

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KNYAGENYA 7/8/2013 12:33PM

    I do not have any children...only fur babies. I am currently laid off but I did work outside the home. I was still responsible for taking care of the home when I got home. Sometimes I liked this and other times it drove me nuts. Now I do it all since I am home all of the time.

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AUNTB63 7/8/2013 11:37AM

    I don't think that "nest builders" are a lost art, just different today. What is the same and always will be is the love put into all those things we do for our families. Have a great day. emoticon

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LOUIE-LILY 7/8/2013 11:26AM

    I agree - God put the "nesting" instinct primarily in women. It doesn't mean women can't work outside the home, but men and women are built different and there is a reason for that.

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ASTRA58 7/8/2013 10:56AM

    I don't believe this is primarily a woman's job, or at least it shouldn't be. The way I see it, several people live in a house and the work should be shared among the people who live there. That way, there isn't too much of a burden on one person. It should be everyone's responsibility to keep the home comfortable and attractive if they are living there, especially if all the members of a family work outside the home.

It may be newer fangled, but I think this kind of attitude makes for well rounded people if they grow up and assume that of course they are going to do their fair share of the work, whatever that may be, and wherever they may be living.

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PATTISWIMMER 7/8/2013 10:44AM

    It works for you as you are both working together... but doing your own jobs.. hubby too emoticon

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