Sunday, July 07, 2013
Without realizing what I was doing I created a new ritual (habit) for myself and tonight it dawned on me what I was doing AND how it is helping me.
After dinner I carry plates to kitchen and fill the kettle and turn it on. I then start unloading the dishwasher (or load it if it's empty) while the kettle is heating. It's become a game how many dishes can I put away before the kettle boils?! Then I make a cup of tea and go sit in my favorite chair and drink my "cuppa". Mine is PG Tips, a tea from England that is heaven.
I started having a cup of tea after my meals because as I am eating smaller portions my overeater mind sometimes tells me falsely that I need more food. Having the cup of tea as my reward and ritual allows my stomach more time to realize it is full.
It is also calming and soothing, giving me a time to reflect and think over my day.
AND the most important part is the change in my mind talk! I have new affirming thoughts about being proud of making my family another healthy meal with good vegetables, how I am learning and growing (and shrinking-losing weight), how we are eating less but feeling better, proud of sticking to my plans and working towards my goals, how I'm enjoying SP, how wanting to exercise is new to me, and how I appreciate my body.
The ritual, now that I've recognized what I started doing, has turned into a habit I am going to keep. So self affirming, such a sweet piece of time that is all mine, and thinking good thoughts about myself is a needed, nice (GREAT!) change.
A simple cup of tea to fill the empty space (false feeling I need to eat more) lead to good thoughts about myself and a new habit I will call my after dinner ritual and continue to use.
I credit the good thoughts to the reading of blogs and articles here on SP, my work in Overeaters Anonymous, reading positive affirming spiritual works, and years of learning how to process emotions rather than eat to stuff them down and out of site (ha ha except for all the fat on my 200+ body). I could hide but I could not run. Sorry that's supposed to be humorous, just my sense of humor.
All the negative thoughts I've had about myself all these years are in my fat. Now with new rituals, new habits, I am talking to myself with positive thoughts, encouraged, happy with little successes and aiming for bigger goals. I feel pride in the new changes I've made, and it is not a screaming power hungry mad pride but a simple sitting with myself, having a cuppa and reflecting on my positive steps, my ability to be at peace with emotions, by letting go and letting my higher power step in, by not hiding what I feel but looking at it and finding ways to love and forgive.