Sunday, July 07, 2013
Well... here it is 7th of July 2013. It seems that energy and attitude is slowing moving back towards a positive energetic form. Not quite there yet. Working hard on finding something I love about my already too heavy body. Guess that positive self-image is important before attempting change. I have things I like about myself, but there are few of the things I like about my physical self to lend good focus. I guess one of them... and that's all I need... is that for someone aged not quite 62, I have very few wrinkles and my pores, while bigger than they used to be, are still not bad. So my facial skin is a good part of who I am regardless of weight.
But it so freakin' cliche' to say... "Well... I have a pretty face..." Right. smh
The physical problems are really overwhelming. Exercise is not something to which I look forward.
In about 2 weeks I've committed myself to taking my young nephew to hunting safety classes. Correct that... I've committed to attend hunting safety classes WITH him. As a vegetarian for much of my life, it will be a study in out-of-comfort-zone learning. I'm no longer afraid of guns for self-defense, but will be biting my lip a LOT when it comes to killing creatures.
Issue is that my sis and her husband have divorced. Her son's Dad is a hunter and wants to take his son along. Sis has prevented it on the basis of safety, but now the boy is 14 and Dad is getting pretty peeved. Safety classes are the only option in keeping family peace and Dad has already completed the classes. Mom will have nothing to do with it, because she is extended to her maximum already. So... off I go.
I don't like even going out in my present physical condition, but I've gotta put self-conscious pride aside and do this for my little pal.
Man! It's so much clearer to do things out of love for family than it is to do things for love of self! Why is that? Could I still be punishing myself over past failures?
Who knows? Guess the only real option is forward.