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further observations of a breakdown

Sunday, July 07, 2013


that's how I feel most of the time this week.

My the muscles in my legs and glutes hurt constantly, even when lying down, and the death of my son-in-law's father has hit me harder than I expected. I was really fond of that man. He was very kind and loving to everyone.

My husband and daughter are home this week and they eat much differently than I do, and expect me to cook it for them (well, my husband does).

I feel overwhelmed by the events of this week, I'm bummed out about the way my weight keeps going up and down on the scale and it seems like I'm having to lose the same weight over and over (is it water weight? have i actually lost any fat? is the weight gain some combination of fat, muscle, and water?), I'm frustrated by the pain in my legs and glutes and the interference with walking that it causes, and my motivation is in the tank.

These are my further observations of the current breakdown (of my plan) I am experiencing.

Mastering the Mysteries of Motivation - Part 1
Understanding Motivation
-- By Dean Anderson, Behavioral Psychology Expert

...I read, "Your motivation will be as strong as the amount of effort you put into making your own decisions (regardless of what they might be) with conscious awareness. Your motivation will be weak when you consider yourself to be helpless against your own urges, feelings and desires, or a victim of circumstances beyond your control."

"Motivation Killer #1: Unrealistic Expectations
Weight loss is NOT orderly or predictable.
Weight loss is NOT a simple calculation.
Focus on what you can actually control—what you eat and how much you exercise."

"Motivation Killer #2: Perfectionism
"The emotional upset of failed perfectionism can make it virtually impossible to stay motivated.
If you're holding yourself to a standard of perfection, or verbally abusing yourself for those bad days, give yourself a break. You must accept the fact that, along with the rest of us, sometimes your human appetites or feelings are going to win out over your good intentions—and it's NOT that big of a deal. ... "


"motivation really is—taking responsibility for conscious actions..."

Ok. so I think what is going on with me right now is that I feel like I have lost control because of the pain and weakness in my legs and butt muscles. I over-trained up to now by running too much, too soon, and not eating enough calories. Perhaps some of it is the trigger points of the Fibromyalgia that are aggravated.

Add to that my perfectionist tendencies, and I have a perfect equation for a crash of motivation.

So, I am learning about myself, and the truth is I have not lost control.
I can still...

*break it down...one step...one bite...one thing at a time
*control what I eat, even if I am having trouble walking.
*do upper body strength training.
*read motivational articles
*keep a positive attitude.

Besides, if I'm going to have a pity party, I need to bake a cake and I certainly don't need cake!

So it's time to pick myself back up and get back in the game.

Observation DONE! emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PEPE0123
    I can relate to your struggles because my motivation has been down for a month but I am trying to get it back where it should be. Unlike you the scale went up 5"s and stayed there. Now I have to lose those plus another 20. emoticon emoticon
    1656 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1656 days ago
  • SHOES17
    I like the breaking it down part. Hang in there. Remember you can keep it simple fresh veggies and sandwiches are easy hits.
    1659 days ago

    Know that everything cycles and it will click my dear.. Think of how far you have come and what you have accomplished so far..

    Hugs and thinking of you ,
    1660 days ago
  • KAB7801
    The pain will go away, as it did with me
    I know it's hard but try not to push yourself so hard!
    1660 days ago
    The process WILL work for you if you let it. You did a really good job of some looking into yourself and maybe it will be just what you need to get you moving again. (HUGS) I certainly understand your sadness over the death of your SIL's father - just because they are not necessarily connected TRADITIONALLY as family, he is obviously a part of your family and he was someone you cared about - of course you are grieving.
    1660 days ago
    Just keep moving forward, however slowly!

    1660 days ago
    Continue to believe the process. It does work even if it isn't as fast as we like. My progress has been very, very slow. I have lost 28 pounds since Jan 2012. What I focus on is the fact that it hasn't come back! My height and age apparently has decided that my body will only release weight slowly. So I have accepted the reality and just keep moving forward. You have the tools and knowledge...now to continue the journey one day at a time...one choice at a time...one step at the time...you will arrive at the finish line...only God knows the exact day and time! emoticon
    1660 days ago
  • 434TERESA
    Hang in there.! You are not alone with the scale going up and down the same few pounds my dose that also then FINALLY it will stay toward the lower number but ti seems like it takes forever tho.
    1660 days ago
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