Sunday, July 07, 2013
Thanks to everyone for posting all of the nice comments. I was really happy to see what each of you had to say. It truly made my day.
(Just to note I have the worst writing skills EVER so bare with me. )
Waiting on God is hard sometimes. After reading the comments I realize that you are all right about waiting on God to select a mate for you. I am 29 years old ( I will be 30 next year yikes!!) and i've been married before. I got married when I was 22 and I thought that I would be married forever. To make a long story short he only married me so that he could get a green card. Though it was hurtful I've moved on. He was my first real bf . I honestly feel that I married him so that I would feel better about myself. Come to find out I didn't I just felt much worse.
Well, now i'm almost 30 and now my friends are either getting married, are married , and are starting to have children. I do feel left out most of the time because I want to get married also. It seems when your friends get married they join another social group of something. They feel you don't understand because you aren't married. It just sucks but I have to have faith that God has someone for me in the works.
I can honestly say that I don't have a good self image of myself. I'm learning that I can't depend on someone else to make me feel good about myself. I have to feel good about me first. Everyone was right when they said I should focus on myself first then after I feel good about myself then I can let someone truly love me but first I have to love myself. This is a slow process for me.
I have started taking photos. I don't own many photos of myself because I don't feel that I'm pretty enough to take the photo. I'm the type that don't have a lot of selfies. I always feel other people are much prettier than I am. I feel invisible sometimes.
Though I slightly feel better today I know I still have a long way to go but it's time that I looked in the mirror at my inner attitude. ..
I will be reading the spark people's first book tonight.