(For those who may find this familiar it is a repeat of one of the first blogs I wrote when I started blogging in 2004/05. It seems every once in awhile people have to be reminded that living alone does not mean being lonely and that it can be a choice unlike other things. A young man expressed the fear of never finding his soul mate and living alone--I am posting this for him.)
It took me 50 years, 4 exes, innumerable mini-affairs to realize that I prefer, enjoy, need to live alone.
I make/am a great friend, adviser, listener but as a life partner a dud. It could be I am too selfish, unwilling to compromise when it comes to ME, unable to sustain a physical relationship with one person or a million other reasons. And it's NOT that I haven't found the right person--I did in 1981 but it couldn't/didn't last.
Why do I like living alone and don't feel lonely? Let me tackle the latter first.
If I want to go out to a movie or play, attend an event, spend time at the beach, share a joyful time, cry on someones shoulder or just talk friends are available. If I want to have a physical encounter I have a group of people to call upon.
Now as to not being/feeling lonely: I have many interests such as reading, writing, Mother Nature, theatre, movies, blogging, writing what I feel will be my last book, that take up a lot of my time and there are only 2 things I don't/won't do alone--have sex and eat out in a fine restaurant.
Advantages of living alone:
1) I can come home and not have to worry about how the person I live with is feeling, what kind of mood they are in.
2) If I don't want the TV on it stays off.
3) I can watch what programs I want nor do I have to buy another TV to solve 'arguments'.
4) I have the whole bed to myself.
5) I do what I want when I want
6) I can eat, read or do anything else I want in bed without having to worry about annoying/disturbing someone.
7) I can eat what I want when I want.
8) I can get up or go to sleep when I want.
9) I can smoke, fart, pick my nose, scratch my butt (Oh, I know YOU don't do any of these things) use my fingers to eat (Oops! Maybe I should have listed this separately after the other things mentioned :o)) without any comments or put downs or silly laughs
10) I don't have to hide anything, including what I watch or put on the Internet.
11) Not having a person talk when I am watching and/or doing something when I prefer quiet.
12) I like to vacation, take trips alone, and stop/see where/what I want for as long as I want.
13) I can be sloppy or neat, clean after myself or not without 'nagging'.
14) I can be responsible for myself only and not for someone else.
15) I can have the a/c on or off--depending how I feel.
16) I can say and/or think "I" as much as I want.
17) I won't/don't do anything I don't want to do.
18) I can eat the whole cake, box of chocolates or cookies, bag of potato chips, etc. myself. (I told you I was selfish!)
19) If I run out of something it's my fault. 20) I don't have to lie--not even a 'white' lie 21) I can shave---or not!
And the list can goes on.
The only advantage I can see to having a live in partner is that when you get old and/or sick someone can take care of you.
Besides all I have seen or read about partners are the problems they had or are having.
Plus I don't have to go through the heartache of a breakup :o)
The longer a person lives alone the more they will protect their space from being invaded!