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    WEARINGTHIN   103,201
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints

Advice to People in Relationships

Saturday, July 06, 2013

If you are in a marriage or a long term relationship, this just might be for you.

Be sure you have a life on the outside. I retired over two years ago. My wife and I are together for most of the day and night. I'm realizing tonight, that's just not healthy.
Yes, we seem to get along. Yes , we do care about each other. But on reflection, I think we're just in too close of proximity to each other for too many hours.

I'm starting back to the gym on the 15th. That will help. In addition, I will likely join a walking meditation group. And, believe it or not, I'm thinking, on this weekend, I am going to church. On my own. Skeptic that I am. That is my plan. I now know I need a life outside of the home. Glenn

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NWFL59 7/7/2013 8:54AM

    It is healthy for you both to have me time, different outside interests to supplement the us time. emoticon

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TOWHEE 7/7/2013 1:50AM

    We've been retired for 6 years and after moving to a new home in a new community in a new state, we decided that we needed to have activities outside of the home and away from each other. I have WW on Monday mornings and walk with two friends on Wednesdays. He goes to breakfast with "the guys" on Thursdays and to lunch with a different group on Fridays. While I'm welcome to join him, I don't because I need some "me" time at home alone. I can tell you that I cherish my "girl" time, but I cherish my "us" time even more because of my "girl" time and his "guy" time.

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NHES220 7/6/2013 11:44AM

    I have a group of friends that I get together with outside of my husband. I have my interests and he has his. We do a lot of stuff together, but we are our own people. However, we did get married later and had our own lives for a long time before we met. I think you need to have similar interests that draw you together, but you need to be able to stand as individuals too. It makes you stronger as a couple.

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4EVERNESS 7/6/2013 10:17AM

    Churches are good, open yourself up to the love and remember that all parishioners are human..they together can openly admit they sin and try to do better. Pretty cool places. Many relationships after retiring..they can just plain get underfoot and in each other's way. I think you have a good plan! It gives you more of interest to talk about and keep each other interesting to each other.

And do you have interests outside of the home that you can share together and in this way grow together?

Regarding church, if Christian, and skepticism..if you run across any sanctimonious, you might remind them that Christ came to save the sinner, what are they doing there? Or, 'as you judge, so shall ye be judged', or what is relevant with God, Love and the Spirit of the Law, or the letter of the law? :) excuse my giggle...The road is narrow, that does not mean a tightrope walk..nor a superhighway!

Comment edited on: 7/6/2013 10:45:24 AM

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BBECKER1955 7/6/2013 10:13AM

    Sounds like sage advice!

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PLMITCH 7/6/2013 10:02AM

    Good luck! I'm a big believer in having interests and friends separate from my DW. It also helps that my DW is back to working 4 days a week AND feeling appreciated / challenged!

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PICKIE98 7/6/2013 6:37AM

    That was my priority when I married in 1979. My aunt and uncle, parents never did anything separately.Ever.
When Uncle Clayton and my dad died, mom and Aunt Evelyn were lost, devastated..
Outside friends are very important, and not just "couples"friends..

True, "I love you man" hug and kiss friends that will be there when you are alone.. nobody lives forever..
I have many lifelong friends and I call them my "reality" friends,, there for me through thick and thin,, no words required..
I hope your wife has them too...

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