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    PHEBESS   293,042
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Does your weight loss make your husband jealous?

Saturday, July 06, 2013

Not jealous of your weight loss per se - no, jealous because he thinks other men are looking at you?

I can't figure out if it's just my DH, if he's imagining men looking at me with lust in their eyes (his words, not mine!), or what - because I just don't see it. I see myself as attractive, but I'm nearly 59 and still rather chubby, albeit shapely. So when I go running to a campground bathroom in my sleepwear (DH's baggy boxer shorts and an oversized long-sleeved T shirt), I don't see any men looking at me in any kind of way, other than to say good morning. DH insists that various men were looking at me and that "he knows lust when he sees it." (Again, his words.)

Am I just missing something? I have a very meager dating history, so I don't think I'm so super attractive. It hasn't been as if men were chasing me all my life, you know?

Or is my DH imagining this because HE thinks I'm so hot? (which, of course, is wonderful, but is he just seeing what he wants to see?)

I'm confused, and I know this is probably a weird blog, but I really need some outside feedback! Thanks!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CONFUSEDBIRD 7/15/2013 9:42PM

    My dad gets super jealous of my mom getting any attention at all. Makes my mom feel guilty. I think most of the time he's imagining things, I don't quite get it. Some macho man thing I assume.

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TENACIOUSTRISH 7/9/2013 4:18AM

    more then likely

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PLATINUM755 7/7/2013 6:23PM

    Men know men...so he's probably right. Take your complement (YOU"RE HOT!!!! emoticon ), you choose him and he's stuck with you! emoticon

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PHEBESS 7/7/2013 4:15AM

    I grew up with three younger brothers, and have always had friends who are male - so I tend to treat men just like I do women, as another person. Thus I tend to be fairly oblivious to signs of interest, or potential, or anything like that.

And no, he isn't asking me to change what I'm doing (he knows my makeshift jammies are, indeed, fairly modest) - nor are there signs of marital problems. I think he was just making an observation when he said the guy was watching me run down to the amenities. Or when he says guys are watching me, even though I don't notice.

I think it probably is somewhere in the middle - he's being a little insecure about it, and maybe there are some guys checking me out but I don't see it.

I just wondered if it was only me.

And Penny, Richard sat around in his boxers, so I think you in your night attire was more covered up, LOL! I can just hear Peter........

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POPSY190 7/7/2013 3:46AM

    When you were staying here Peter told me off for going to the kitchen when you were both there in my night attire!!! And I'm older than you are!

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ARTJAC 7/7/2013 2:40AM

    I HAVE HEARD OF THIS BUT HE MIGHT BE JEALOUS AS HE IS NOT LOSING WEIGHT LIKE YOU

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ROCKYCPA 7/6/2013 5:49PM

    Your husband thinks you look hot and why wouldn't every other man in the vicinity feel the same. Give him a big hug and tell you only have eyes for him!

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WATERMELLEN 7/6/2013 10:48AM

    Such a cute blog. Of COURSE you are attractive for goodness sake!! Outside, inside (and that's a reference both to your location in the landscape whenever/whatever and your physical/spiritual entity). None of us who has come to know you here can doubt that.

How lovely that your DH still feels jealous!! You can probably figure out a couple ways of both capitalizing on that and reassuring him . . . .

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LE7_1234 7/6/2013 9:53AM

    Is he just commenting on what he's seeing, or is he asking you to change what you're doing because of what he's seeing?



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GINIEMIE 7/6/2013 9:40AM

    My dating was very limited by my overprotective parents, being the eldest I was their learning tool. Steve and I got married at both of our thinnest. After our 5th child I lost weight and got my shape back. I was, am a flirt-so was my dad. Steve was not insecure, thank God. He was the MAN of my life and I made sure he knew it. My brothers were the ones who called me on my flirting which increases as I feel more attractive-but I've never played around.
Give your hubby hugs, verbal and physical reassurance and remind him that you are doing this for health and him.
emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOANNA2 7/6/2013 9:14AM

    I don't know what to say, but sometimes I had
the feeling that if I was somewhere and there
was male company, my ex would always watch
me like a hawk. I used to have beautiful long
hair and even talking to someone would make
him come over and say let's go. Then he told
me that long hair didn't suit me and that I would
suit short hair. Something like your losing weight.
Like a fool, I ended up cutting my hair.
Just give him a hug...

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BOSS61 7/6/2013 8:01AM

    Male of the species, weighing in (groan - a pun I know):

The problem is his, and his insecurity. It is not yours. At our ages, we lose weight for health reasons, period. Gently remind him of that, if and as necessary.

Finally, if a marital issue were to arise, I think it doubtful that weight loss by one spouse or another brings it on. To the forefront perhaps, but brings it on - no.

Just my humble opinion, but what do I know? I am male.

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NELLJONES 7/6/2013 7:35AM

    I have seen this before, but usually in younger people. Some people think that the only reason to lose weight would be to become more attractive to the opposite sex. You have read about the "signs of a straying spouse", and one of them is losing weight without a medical threat of death. Make sure he knows that at our age, the only opinion that counts is our own. And maybe his.

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RDEE22 7/6/2013 7:22AM

    Take it as a compliment for all your hard work and give him a very big hug or "whatever". emoticon

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 7/6/2013 6:44AM

    Hard for us to say, guess or know what is going on as it could be real, imaginary or both. I am wondering was he concerned with your safety? Perhaps being possessive? Relationships have seasons so it certainly could be jealousy or simply concern for your safety. Ask him emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 7/6/2013 6:42AM

    I think it is insecurity .. I know that when I lost a heap of weight, Colin seemed to keep his eye on me around men ...
I have always got on well with men .. I have worked with them and also did business with them on our orchards.
It was me that did the books, talked to the agents, and of course ran the picking teams.
Colin ran the sheds and the packing .. He also built a lot of our machinery .
He had no reason to be wary .. But he was ... emoticon emoticon

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WENDYJM4 7/6/2013 6:34AM

    I have heard this happening before. emoticon

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