Friday, July 05, 2013
Tuesday I had the angiogram and angioplasty to clear some blockage. They had to go through the artery in my groin. I'm not bouncing back as fast as I thought I would, but I'm doing okay. Having anything go wrong with your heart or coronary arteries is always kind of unsettling. I went through a period after my heart attack three years ago this month (almost to the very day of my procedure) where I was afraid to move much, afraid of every twitch in my arm, shoulder, or chest. I just knew I was going to die any minute, that my heart would just...explode. That's when I got scared enough to become a serious sparker. I'm going to get back to that need/drive/enthusiasm again soon. Right now I have to heal and regroup.
I'm taking July off and maybe even August or a part of August. Not from trying to live a healthy lifestyle, no. Just from making it the main focus of my life. I need to recharge. I need to stop and literally smell the flowers. I need to finish my granddaughter's blanket before she is born October 1st. I need to pamper me and take care of me mentally as well as physically for a while.
I'm attending a weight loss surgery seminar in the morning. My husband will go with me. We still don't have insurance coverage for this, nor do we have the finances available. I just want to learn a little more about it. If it turns out I cannot have it, I will accept it in typical She Beast fashion. This means I will find another route or work my way back to the mindset that has sustained me through my journey so far. Never giving up and never giving in doesn't mean you won't have obstacles or failures. It means you don't let them stop you from finding the right path and staying the course.
It's very possible that I will find I cannot stay away from sparkpeople or posting for that long. Maybe it is now so ingrained as to be a true part of me. Maybe I will find my "spark" much sooner than I anticipate. Whatever happens, I know all paths always lead me back here; SparkPeople are my people; Spark is my home. My local San Antonio team is in great hands under the leadership of JELAWTON3 and HEALTHYHABITGAL. I am more than confident that they can and will make great choices for the team in my absence and will continue to be great assets to the leadership team after I return. They are VERY successful and driven sparkers and I am so very pleased they joined me in leadership.
The She Beast will return, stronger and more determined than ever. Until then, remember how very worth it you are. Remember how much you deserve every good thing. Never give up, never give in. As always, I love you all.