Friday, July 05, 2013
So one of the things I want to share is revisiting the concept of thankfulness. We tend to really only consider what we're thankful for on one holiday (the one that usually involves turkey.) But I think acknowledging what you're thankful for on a more regular basis is good for the spirit, if not also good for the soul. For those of you who follow this blog, leave me a comment and let me know if seeing what you have to be thankful for made a difference in your viewpoint today, okay?
My mother always calls my darling son her "miracle baby." He wasn't exactly a miracle; we had just spent 8 years trying to conceive him. But in many ways, he is a miracle. He gave my mom a reason to get healthy and stay healthy. He gave her a reason to live, really. He gave my husband and me the opportunity to make a difference in a new life, and he cemented the love between us. He has given me the motivation to be greater than what I am -- to make him proud. And he's the sweetest, kindest, funniest kid I've ever met. And on top of that, he's healthy and problem-free, at least at this point. (For a mother of "advanced maternal age" that's a REALLY big thing to be thankful for!)
When I finally did get pregnant, I was hesitant. Okay, that's BS. I was terrified. I had a life and everybody kept telling me how much having a baby changes your life, and I didn't want my life to change. I liked it the way it was, and had largely accepted the fact that we were going to be childless.
But what I realized once he was born was that yes, your life changes because your schedule gets completely turned upside down -- but the REALLY big thing that changes is YOU. But in a great way.
The squabbling and nonsense from friends, enemies, co-workers -- that all loses its impact and suddenly all that crap is just crap. It's not important. What becomes important is revisiting the world again through new, tiny little eyes. And seeing yourself reflected in those eyes.
I'll never forget the first time I saw my reflection in my son's baby blues. I thought to myself, Thackeray was right: "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." I vowed then to live up to his expectations as best I could. To be the kind of person I wanted him to be. To make him proud of me. To get out that stupid bucket list of things to accomplish, and ACCOMPLISH some of them -- to show him that Yes, it can be done!
My son is the miracle that finally happened, and when he happened, I realized a lot of other things could happen as well. I CAN run a marathon. I CAN ... well, I have a list :)
So I'm thankful for that 6 pound miracle and the fact that having him changed my life. And I'm thankful for the support of family and friends, for my life situation being what it is, so that I have time to spend exercising and time to spend with Darling Son and Hubby. I'm thankful that my Mom is happy for the first time in 40 years, and that my Dad has found a positive focus in his life.
I could list so many things to be thankful for, that I feel a bit selfish. I vow from this moment on to never let a day go by where I don't recognize how good my life is, and what I have to be grateful for. Even overweight, I'm blessed :)