So yesterday, I went for an interview and I got the job in 20 minutes. There are pros and cons...the biggest pro being that the hours are just right for me and my family right now, the office is nice and in a good location, there is room to grow hour wise and basically if I do that for the office, then I will get the raise I want. Ok, so the con is that I took a pay cut hourly and it is part time. But I am thinking that the pros outweigh the cons here, so I decided to take it right on the spot.
I left feeling happy and accomplished. Somebody likes me, they really really like me.
And then buyers remorse set it while we were sitting at my celebratory Japanese dinner. For the following reasons:
- I was way over hungry
- the food came late
- my 2 sons chicken tempura came 20 minutes after mine and one came out ten minutes after the first one did - the waiter told them to share while we waited.
- Insert waiter hatred here
- Insert mood changing dramatically b/c of the stupid restaurant and my hunger/mood swing
- Insert the buyers remorse and the slap to my pride because really, for the position I really really want in a job, it basically doesn't exist unless I work for myself (and I have no idea what that would be or where to start either) ...so anything I really get in the workplace, I will be taking a cut no matter what....hello reality, nice to meet you.
So after a good cry at home in front of my husband, who just stood there with nothing to say except the reality that I know to be... and that the world we live in sometimes, well, sometimes we just have to take what we can get and keep looking in order to survive where we live... and a hug. He hugged me and wished he could make me feel better. And that is that.
So I wrote everything out to get it out on paper...and really, the job is good for me and my family right now. It really is. The people are nice too and I can rock this thing and prove to another office that I am so awesome they will never want me to leave them. AND I bump up my resume another level....
And who is to say that I don't add my own thing to my roster? no one... just me and my lack of confidence.
And who is to say that I don't take on side business accounting gigs? no one... hello low self-esteem girl... suck it. You are a business woman. OWN it and USE the talents you got! Take a chance for God's sake!!!
And who is to say that I don't do the project that is lingering in the back of my head for months and months now? no one... I have nothing to lose on that one except time on the computer and a creative outlet for my hidden talents that I don't let shine.
Anyway....with the second set of life decisions over this week, I still have an upset stomach because of the newness of the life change coming on. But I do have this: A supportive husband who is supporting all of what I said above, a schedule that lets me be an active mom still (seriously, that is priceless to me), a future boss who IS a mom and flexible if things come up (so far I have witnessed that to be true in 4 hours of hanging out at the office), and the flexibility to take care of myself the way I should...which includes sleeping well b/c of less work stress (it's not my show now); exercising on my off hours; and ultimately, the best thing of all - being there for my kids. I said that twice didn't I?!? LOL That's because I love them so.
I just added some more pros to the list, didn't I? Funny how when you look at things at a different angle, things don't seem as bad as you thought they were. Hey...I know people who cannot get jobs at all in their field... I must be grateful for the fact that I am in a field that has positions open from time to time.
That is why I blog....it clears my head.
So that is what's up. Figured I'd let my most supportive cheering section know what was going on... it's much appreciated. It truly is my Sparkfriends.
Wish me luck....I start on Monday.