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    KRISZTA11   57,354
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Alone at home for 3 days


Thursday, July 04, 2013

Kids left for a 6-day summer festival and DH - after dropping them off - is visiting friends in his home town.
So I'm alone and I'm enjoying it.
There is silence and peace.
Nobody comes home at dawn and makes loud clinking noise in the kitchen so I can sleep through the night.
I cleaned up the kitchen when I got home from work last night and it was just as clean and tidy as I left it.
I picked up some things scattered around in the rooms and put them back in their places and they are still there.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly, and I wouldn't trade their loud and chaotic presence for living alone, but 3 days are quite enjoyable ; )
I would love to have a clean, tidy house, clean dishes and cutlery in the cupboards, clean and tidy rooms, but I'm the only one who cares for it. Kids and DH don't. On general principle leave all objects where they stopped using them: dirty dishes, glasses, work clothes, DVDs (disc and box separately), books, newspapers, whatever.
So I had to choose:
-accept the situation and decrease my standards (effect: untidiness, moderate and fluctuating levels of cleanliness)
or
-spend all my time cleaning and tidying after them (side effect: feeling exhausted, exploited and resentful)
or
-terrorizing family members into cleaning and tidying after themselves (effect: none, side effect: feeling exhausted, exploited and very very resentful)

I chose the first option. After all, having my family and loving them is more important than having a clean and tidy house. My mom always makes faces / remarks when she visits us, but I can tolerate that.
I'm very happy about the fair distribution of household chores, because I know in some families the mothers do most of them, even if working full time like I do.
DH does the washing and most of shopping, DS does the cleaning, DD washes the dishes.
I do the cooking, some shopping and do the odd jobs nobody does (like cleaning behind the washing machine).
I highly appreciate that they do their fair share, and I'm grateful for taking care of me and each other.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
FIREFLY4407 7/7/2013 8:00AM

    Oh my ISTJ friend, I can completely relate. I also went with option 1 and am totally fine with it. While our loved ones may not have the same appreciation for quiet & tidiness we do, all the wonderful things they bring to our lives with a little bit of chaos and unpredictability thrown in make it totally worth it. But I can appreciate how nice these 3 days are for you - enjoy!!

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WILLITWORK1 7/5/2013 10:41AM

    oooooooooo! Enjoy this sweet time! I understand exactly what you are saying. It is actually my dh that does the most cleaning, but I do enjoy solitude for a measure of time. Then it is such a joy to see the kids and dh again. Now that my kids don't live here, the time with them is more special.



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OWL_20 7/5/2013 8:12AM

    Enjoy the peace and quiet! You really have got a good set-up going--and I love the fact you've got the kids involved, too! Great job and have a few restful days!

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CIRANDELLA 7/4/2013 1:09PM

    You've got a balanced, realistic, and wonderful outlook on all this, Kriszta! Meanwhile...enjoy the delicious peace! emoticon

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LESLIESENIOR 7/4/2013 12:00PM

    You are so wise!!! Enjoy your temporary solitude!!!
I'm on the other side of the family raising. My boys have been gone from home since graduating from high school. They are now 29, 33, and 35. I am glad that I taught them some respect for their home, but didn't expect "my standards" to be met. They leave home so soon and we have so many years to keep a tidy house. My husband has slowly become neater, but we have been married 41 years. In the end, you are right, it is not that important.

However, I understand your enjoyment of having some order for a few days.
Thank you for sharing with us. It really took me back.

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TEMPEST272002 7/4/2013 11:18AM

    I completely get it! Hubby & I do not share the same idea of what a "clean" house looks like. He works away - 2 weeks gone, 1 week home. The first day he goes, I clean the house and it stays beautifully tidy for 2 weeks... until he arrives home and brings instant mess with him! Still, I'd rather him than a clean house, so what do you do except exactly what you are doing. Enjoy your little bit of me time.

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MOBYCARP 7/4/2013 11:15AM

    We all need a balance of social life and solitude, with different people needing different balances. If you live in a noisy, chaotic house time alone can be precious. If you live alone, time with company can be precious.

Enjoy your three days, and appreciate your family when they come back!

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BROOKLYN_BORN 7/4/2013 9:44AM

    I think you have an excellent division of labor. My kids learned to wash their own clothes at about age 10, so if their favorite outfit wasn't clean when they wanted it, it was their own fault.
We would never be featured on "House Beautiful" but neither would the Board of Health come after us. It's all about compromise.

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SMILINGTREE 7/4/2013 6:14AM

    I made a similar compromise, but it was more about owning things. I would like to have far fewer items in my house - in fact I'd like to have a smaller house. My husband on the other hand loves stuff. All kinds of stuff. But I'd rather have him than less stuff, so the stuff stays :)

If you're cleaning behind the washing machine, you have a clean house! It may not be tidy, but it's definitely clean!

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OPTIMIST1948 7/4/2013 6:07AM

    I *like* how you balance everything! Inspirational!

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MONA791 7/4/2013 4:11AM

    Enjoy it! emoticon

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