Thursday, July 04, 2013
so i went on vacation and totally sucked on food and exercise there came home and our house was robbed they stole all my jewelry, my daughter jewelry, credit cards and some cash........ at first i was like its ok luckily we were not home and everyone is safe..... but then the reality hit, all that jewelry that was all gifts, all gifts that meant quite alot to me, those were anniversaries, birthdays, christmas, present for just because, one was even given to my by husband because he was proud of my weight loss. that cash was our savings, and if it came down to it i would of pawned my jewelry to pay for whatever needed paid, but i wanted that back up choice, Im honestly mad, angry and really just pissed about it, what hurts me most is we dont know who did it or how they got in and the fact the had the guts to go into my daughters room which is clearly a childs room and steal her jewelry and money out of her piggy bank im just really hurt by this.... the pain doesnt stop there because of this happening and it being the second time someone has broke in our house (1st time the stole our change jars, which were those big pretzel jars your get at christmas time) we have decided its no long safe to live here, the neighborhood has changed, im now finding needles on the side of the road where i jog too and i just dont feel safe here esp not knowing how they are getting in our house and now they have all the small stuff whats next? are they going to come in the middle of the night while were home? are we gonna come home to absolutely nothing or someone waiting for us? are my kids even safe sleeping in their beds? but with the move also comes the problem of i have to give my chickens up, this in away breaks my heart i have raised them all since babies and loved having them and the self sustained living they brought.
on top of everything i have gained a good 15lbs from my lowest weight im not proud of this i feel really horrible about it and i just cant seem to find the drive to get back on track. I stay up so late i end up sleeping most of the day away and what i dont is spent running around getting all the days task done. i havent worked out in a really long time and just feel too far gone for help at this point..... i hate that im always feeling some kind of down or going through something just want to live drama free for a few months!