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Am stunned,,,, need time to think

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

You may already know,,, maybe not??? I have neuropathy,,,,, that in itself is very painful (like when ur feet fall asleep as they wake up,,, that needle and pins feeling).

I ve been told as some of you know,,,, that due to this condition,,, I "may" have to have my left foot amputated. This for some reason,,, now that we are looking for an appt with the Dr who does it,,,,,, it's a SLOWING ME DOWN !! I am actually feeling "stunned". Why I have ZERO CLUE, cos I've "kinda" known about this for about a yr.

Its starting to really affect my life, in that I am starting to aknowledge just how much PAIN I am REALLY In from day to day. Yet, that pain hasn't really changed much. Still its a slowing me down. I do NOT feel like doing "real exercise". I am having to FORCE it now,,, instead of it being a JOY that it normally is.

I HOPE they do some therapy around this???? I do know someone who has had this done. I KNOW he'll talk to me honestly and full emotions. That's fortunate for me.

guess I am just starting to realize all this means,,,and starting to FREAK OUT,, and yet the "FINAL" word about this happening,,, has NOT been said yet. I am "just preparing myself" so if he says it,,, I do NOT burst out in tears.

Guess that's normal huh? I suppose. It'll alter of course ALL I do..... I so BADLY Need to stay by my teams (the SUDs and the BLC) and WORK AT IT to MY ability,,, even the chair exercises are hurting me now. What ELSE is there? BED exercises MINUS the feet? Hmmmm to me that's NOT much. Thankfully I start PT on my back late next week,,,,,, but I expect NO REAL help around this,,,,for that Dr wants me UP AND WALKING. LOL NOT gonna happen,,, ,but, I DID tell her 'That's my WISH", and also told her "its IMPOSSIBLE" but, ALL She HEARD was THE WISH,,,and IGGYNORED the IMPOSSIBLE.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Diane, I know you will need time to adjust to this news. Even knowing this is coming, is not a reality until the doc speaks those words.
    Praying that you will be able to adjust, as we are all rooting for you!
    1620 days ago
    I don't have the right words to say, but just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you whenever you need. Take whatever time you need. I'll be sending prayers your way and hope for the best. Take care of yourself. emoticon
    1621 days ago
    You are such a dear!
    I am so sorry for your neuropathy in your feet.
    My DH has excrutiating pain in his feet, and is on constant heavy pain meds.
    I hope you get good news.
    My hugs and prayers go out to you.
    1621 days ago
    Diane, I'm so proud of you that you can hope for the best and prepare for the worst while you're in this health crisis. Do not be afraid to burst into tears at any time, they're necessary. Hugs to you and my best wishes that physical therapy will help things.
    1621 days ago
  • GIRLIE603
    Hugs to you! You need to take care of yourself, and then lean on your BLC teammates and friends. We are all here for you. One step at a time!

    1621 days ago
    I know first hand that at times a reality check is what it takes for us to make changes. Be sure to get a second opinion and don't let the docs do something that you disagree with. Unless it becomes an emergency, take your time getting all the information that you can.
    1621 days ago
    I have no words of wisdom for you just hugs. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Take care, dear lady.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1621 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/4/2013 11:02:52 AM
    Hugs and prayers. It's tough! You know we're here for you.
    1621 days ago
    Diane, This will take time to adjust to, if it happens, You know there are a lot of people here for you to help in any way we can. I know none of us can say "I know how you feel" because only someone who has been through this can even have an inkling of how you might be feeling but even then everyone deals with challenges differently. If you just need to talk I'm a great listener. I know I'm hard to reach by phone because I'm not home a lot and even when I am home I don't usually answer the phone unless I recognize the number (too many telemarketers calling even though our number is on the Do Not Call List) but I do have an answering machine and you can leave a message to call or if I am home, and can, I will pick the phone up when I know it is you. I know talking won't solve the problem but I find, for me, that just talking and venting to someone helps relieve some of the stress.
    Please take good care of yourself and don't push too hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
    1621 days ago
    take care of yourself and i hope they make the right decision for you. you are strong and positive and im sure whatever happens it will make things better for you. I have a little pain everyday and it can make me down sometimes so i can't imagine how you must feel but know we are all here for you and your in our prayers and hearts.
    1621 days ago
    Diane ,take time for you.We are all here for you and want only the best for you.Pain is horrid to deal with on a regular basis but you are strong and I have faith in your ability to say nothing will overcome your spirit. hugs,Cheri
    1622 days ago
    Diane, the main thing you have to do is take care of you. I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel to know that you may need to have this done. My DH is in constant pain and I know how hard it is for him to function. Some days are worse than others. Getting to know you over this past year or so has been a real blessing for me. No matter what you have going on in your life, you have always been there for me. I will be here in any way I can for you. Please take good care of yourself, and I will keep you in my prayers as I do everyday.

    1622 days ago

    Please take care of yourself sweetie, We all here will help you as much as you need!
    Just Holler and I will come running to help! Prayers are with you always!

    Mary Ann
    1622 days ago
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